Amagami SS 03 – because everyone loves bizarre sexual play

It’s a little known fact that love , aside from giving energy and vitality in life,

makes your arms shortened and your body disproportional.

Some people have shown their distaste for Amagami SS, complaining that not only does it lack this aforementioned “love”, but also this “drama” and “conflict” of which they speak.Bullshit! Amagami SS is the -best- anime this season, if not the best series in the entire fucking universe, and you know it.

Let’s start with what the show does, mainly by using examples from this episode.

Amagami SS breaks new frontiers and grounds in anime. While other anime misrepresent the act of sexual intercourse as the pinnacle and proof of love between two lovers, for example Sora no Iro, Mizu no Iro or even Rec. ,  Amagami SS breaks all these poor misrepresentations down and points its proverbial middle finger to the world of sexual comedy. While Anime delve into the three holes, Amagami SS, with all its innovation and skill, crafts an entrance into the fourth realm: the fourth ‘hole’.

While some watchers may be disgusted or turned on at this scene, some people who I’ve known to actually fap to these things must have been struck with a moral dilemma : “She’s making sexual, orgasmic groans, yet I know that she’s just being kissed in the kneepits. Wait. Kneepits? Holy shit.“

Soon, this kneepit thing becomes the newest, hottest craze amongst anime, with many anime following suit. Everything is centred around kneepits. New ecchi shows include kneepits. The third shrine maiden in Touhou has fully exposed kneepits. Soon, all of this will be credited to Amagami SS – and all they had to do was animate 30seconds -1 minute plus of animation. Pure. Fucking. Genius.

Also, the main character is apparently going to be a pimp and fuck around with all the girls –  and yet earn our respect – and not die a horrible death in the end. Compared to the likes of School Days, which was both appalling to watch and yet strangely appeasing to see Makoto die – Amagami SS forces love relationships to bend over and suck it. It makes the main character get all the happy ends, screw around with plenty of girls – or show plenty of girls screwing around with random men, and the audience does not wish for a bad end. The audience wants a happy end – and not much can be said to prove that it is a harem, too. Breaking new boundaries, man. It isn’t a harem , yet it has the makeup – PURE . FUCKING. GENIUS.

Just as how its genre and content breaks new ground, so does its plot – completely original and refreshing. We don’t get 1 ,poorly-explored and awkward relationship spanned over 24 episodes. We get 6 – yes, folks , 6! – poorly-explored and awkward relationships. That means that we have to put up with similarly awesome relationships throughout the series. Fuck yes. We can see how a 4-episode restraint does so nicely for each relationship , allowing Amagami SS’s plot to bitch slap shit like Toradora and Clannad in the face. “WE don’t need 24 episodes to build a relationship , that includes sexual play! We only need 3! SUCK IT.”

That’s just how badass Amagami SS is. Going around and raping all the other anime out there, including completely non-related stuff like NieA_7 or the Gundam series just to show its sexual prowess.

Each character fucks with your mind. Tachibana is this submissive, depressive puppy who turns BDSM-maniac , forcing his every sexual desire upon Morishima, who, due to her own sexual lewdness,gladly plays along. I’m not going to be surprised if they release an OVA with Morishima having sex with a dog or something, just for the lols. Each character is extremely paradoxical – Tachibana calls himself ‘a puppy’ , begging her for little things yet forcing upon her his own sexual fantasies. Morishima is reluctant to fulfill his bizarre desire to kiss her sexy kneepits, but she gladly allows herself to be tied up and force-fed food. Brilliant.

In a metaphorical sense, the characters in Amagami SS are your proverbial Bonnie and Clyde, gunning down any straightforward relationships eve established. They will not stand to be ‘normal’ – and that is what makes Amagami SS awesome. It challenges the boundaries of what’s acceptable on TV, with its viewers, with Japanese society, with the world, with the universe, and with me.

Yes. Knee-pits. They’re my new fetish. They’re your new fetish. They’re Japan’s new fetish, America’s new fetish, Porn’s new fetish, and everybody’s new fetish. You can’t deny it. You were probably stroking your own knee-pits when you were watching the episode. You are now intrigued. Everyone is now intrigued. Soon, any show with someone scratching his or her knees will be deemed NC-16. And that makes it awesome. Knee-pits challenge everything. They’re like the result of Yamada having a child with Chuck Norris. They’ll go around and fuck everything. Fuck convention, fuck society, fuck everything. Nothing will be left untouched.

As such, Amagami SS is the best thing in the universe. If Chuck Norris is the epitome of awesome, Amagami SS, being the crossbreed of Yamada and Chuck Norris, will be 100 times as awesome. In the future, no more Chuck Norris jokes will be told. They’ll all be replaced with Amagami SS jokes.

Every time you masturbate, Junichi kisses someone on the knee-pits.

Tachibana doesn’t engage in free sex.He engages in free knee-kissing.

Contrary to popular belief, in Soviet Russia, everyone DOES kiss Tachibana’s knee pits.

So, to avoid losing out, hop onto the bandwagon before Amagami SS, with its blinding amounts of awesome, takes over the world.

Once again, knee-pits are love.

P.S. Cookies to whoever can guess whether I like or hate this show.