Remember this circlejerk we were so excited for? It’d be just wrong if I didn’t mention the ABT this year.
Also, I seem to have missed out an entire day by accident. Fuck that, orz.
When I think back to the ABT, I no longer really think about the competition itself- there isn’t any prize, anyway- but more of the process. I mean, seriously, I’ve already been posting less and less since 2011, and the announcement of the 2nd ABT kept me going on for about another half-year or so. Thinking of the Aniblog Tourney reminds me of pretty much how much time this blog has spent floating about the blogosphere, and how many years I’ve delved into this fandom.
I find that the blog, or blogging as a whole, isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. Perhaps it’s the lack of comments compared to posts of yesteryear, or the fact that the team’s all moved on, except for the two of us veterans who’re bombarding your feed with posts right now. Instead, I find that the blog has become a marker for my hobby to keep me in it.
Earlier this year, I actually subtly hinted that I wanted to quit the blogosphere through a thinly-veiled meta post. Back then, it seemed inevitable that I would leave the blogosphere completely. After all, 2DT had quit, and that was pretty much a big blow to me back then. I thought that no matter how committed you were, how much you blogged, eventually, the stream runs dry, and you would quit. The post sort of ended on a down note by essentially saying “I don’t know when to quit, or why.” Then 2DT came back to the blogosphere, of course, and I started to question my beliefs.
The ABT for me was always, a goal and motivation. It motivated me to stay on and continue blogging, even if meta posts slowly become relics of the past, so it seems. It made me strive to post more, and try different styles of posts, even if the readership becomes more and more ghostly – to me, anyway. Thinking about the ABT also makes me wonder about what 2DT said back when he shut down his previous blog.
“Anime can be a second reality. It can be an escape, a reprieve, a haven away; Door Number One is the geeky stuff, Door Number Two is everything else, and ne’er the twain shall meet. I think that’s easy enough to do. It’s much more difficult to live in both worlds at once.”
I find that, somehow, I have done it. I’ve merged everything, and I’ve made this hobby part of my life once again. I’m spending time on it again, I find the motivation to take part in it again, and I’ve made it part of me.
So the ABT was indeed a major milestone for the blog. It not only served as one of the blog’s early goals, but it also served as a form of motivation to keep me going, keep the blog going, and keep the posts flowing. Whenever I think about the ABT, I realized that I wouldn’t want anything to change about it at all.