Summer 2012 Season Preview, by Valence.

From left to right:Valence, Valence and Valence

Welcome to yet another AOIA preview, where we just sling mud at all the crap that’s coming up in upcoming anime seasons for the twisted satisfaction for ourselves and others! Joining me today will be..

…..awfully silent around here, isn’t it.

I often think that the entire world of anime can be represented by one relationship: the more anime there are, the more the quality of anime tends towards being generic. Same thing goes here: we’ve got not a lot of star shows here (some of which I’ll probably fanboy over) and nope, that Sengoku Era show doesn’t count at all.

We do have quite a bit of sequels next season though, most notably Rinne no Lagrange 2 (which is probably our header right now) and Muv-luv Alternative: Total Eclipse. (IF you count a spinoff as a sequel, of course. I doubt much people care about the other sequels though.)

To save myself and you some time, the descriptions and order of anime will be directly lifted without much editing from the actual team AOIA blog post.

Kokoro Connect (SILVER LINK)

“The teen comedy follows the strange phenomena at the Yamahoshi Academy’s Culture Club, starting with the five male and female club members switching bodies with each other.”

Look, the body switch isn’t any bit innovative a concept. That being said, I fucking love Kyonko. Does that count as a body switch? Well it is kind of a body switch, but I guess it doesn’t. Well then, fuck.

Despite the relatively tame preview image I’m sure everyone can roughly imagine what will happen to the show and its characters as it progresses: ludicrous amount of lewd sex jokes and awkward situations. No doubts or qualms about that here, but I must wonder: how did they even switch bodies in the first place? I mean, is there some magic entity out there which loves fucking (no pun intended) around with random groups of highschoolers? Is there any purpose to the body-switching? How will they ever get their own bodies back?
Fuck it, I have to watch the show to clear these questions of mine.

Number of questions Valence has for the show: 9001 

Like I Said, I Can’t Get It Up (feel.)

“A guy sells his mojo to a beautiful Goddess of Death. Now he can’t even fap to the hot girls at school. How will he ever survive his adolescent days!?”

So he fucking sold his soul mojo to the devil  a Goddess of Death in exchange for erectile dysfunction? Your problem, man. You just fucked up there. But knowing Japan there will probably be some long, ludicrous twist which causes lots of girls to flock to him and there will be scenes where he tries to fap by thinking of as many lewd thoughts as possible but fail.

I suppose his next logical step is to trade his soul for some Viagra, and then fap alone while crying and drunk. On the subject of pills, I need some medication as well if I want to survive through this show. Headache medication.

Number of blue pills he needs: 60

I Have a Sister in Here! (Studio Gokumi)

“The son of an industrial magnate must find a girlfriend at school before he can inherit the family legacy. The catch? His long-lost sister is one of the students.”

Oh no! His long-lost sister is one of the stu- how does that even fucking matter? It sounds like a problem to us because we know the problem arises from him dating his sister. But neither of them know that the other exists. What are the actual chances of getting it on with that one girl in a school of hundreds?
Knowing Japan, they will make it happen, but seriously, think about it: what are the actual chances of something like that happening?  And fuck it, at least finding his long-lost sister is a good deed for the sister but it would seriously fuck with his ability to get the family legacy so he’d probably date his sister just so both of them could get back in the family and get the riches or something. Probably going to be cheesy and boring.

Number of sisters I may have that are long-lost: 17

MuvLuv Alternative: Total Eclipse (Ixtl, Satelight)

“Aliens known as Beings of Extra Terrestrial origin which is Adversary of human race (BETA) invade earth and conquer most of the Eurasian continent. In response, a new type of gundam known as the Tactical Surface Fighter (TSF) is developed. Elite pilots from around the world are pitted against one another at a UN base in Alaska in a joint effort to develop the next generation of TranSFormers.”

>new type of Gundam

>tranSFormers

>Satelight

>randomly testing to select a few pilots when world is being conquered by aliens

Nobuna Oda’s Ambitions (Studio Gokumi, Madhouse)

“Modern-day high school boy gets transported to the Sengoku Era. He meets female versions of the warlords, most notably, Nobuna Oda. Oh, goodie!”

In response to Carillus’s comment about the show, I would pay to see Washington as a pistol-toting bikini wearing blonde girl. But then again, what is the purpose of watching these shows other than to laugh at how stupid they are, before falling into a slump of depression when you realize how miserably sad both your life and knowledge are if you have to watch shows like these to learn about the Era or if you actually watch that show because you enjoy it?
What’s Japan’s obsession with Sengoku era genderbent anime anyway? Who even decided one day that genderbending all the old and great heroes of East Asian history into moe moe 17-year-old girls would be a good idea? Whoever he was, he wasn’t wrong, but he should be depressed about what he had done. He’ll probably be uttering something about Sengoku Era armies before falling asleep from all the beer which I hope he’s drinking himself to death with.

Love, Elections and Chocolate (AIC Build)

“Yuuki Oujima and his friends waste time doing nothing in the Food Research Club. When the front runner of the student council election proposes that clubs that have no merit should be abolished, Yuuki runs in the election as an opposing candidate to protect the fellow lazy bums of the school.”

One popular recipe for eroge in Japan involves throwing sex into random situations as many ways as you can see fit. You might not want to admit it, but could F/SN be counted as an eroge? For that horrible scene where they charge mana by having sex, while by all logic it should be the contrary. Whatever, you get what I mean.
Although to be honest, I doubt they will actually focus that much on the ecchi and sex (if any) in this show because of reasons. I hope it really just turns out to be comedy or drama or something along those lines, because otherwise I’d be too much of a lazy bum to actually watch the show.

La Storia Della Arcana Famiglia (J.C. Staff)

“The story follows Arcana Famiglia, a self-appointed organization with mysterious powers that protected the area from various threats. The only daughter of the family’s leader, Felicita, will be married to the next head of the family in two months — and the successor will be decided in a competition that Felicitá herself will take part in.”

Jet Black Bride arc. Just that.

No further comment.

The God of Poverty is…! (Sunrise)

“The story revolves around Ichiko Sakura, a girl whose blissful life comes from her bountiful “happiness energy” — gained by sapping that energy from other people. To restore the balance, the God of Poverty, Momiji Binbada, attempts to eliminate her.”

Joshiraku (J.C. Staff)

“The story follows the behind-the-scenes dressing-room conversations of a group of female (joshi) Japanese verbal show (rakugo) performers.”

For reasons unknown I think I’ll like this show. I except some clever wordplay or some deadpan jokes being tossed about. Interesting idea.

Ebiten: Kouritsu Ebisugawa High Astronomy Club (AIC Classic)

“The story centers around Itsuki Noya, a boy who wishes to join his school’s astronomy club. However, he actually entered a similarly named club that caters to fujoshi interests.”

I think the real reason why I’m not watching this show, or at least I don’t intend on watching this show is because the preview image only contains girls as far as I can see. If I hated Seitokai no Ichizon, what are the chances of me liking this nonsense?

Furthermore I can’t see for the life of me why his club is a problem since he could always quit and join the actual astronomy club. I mean, I doubt the girls would feel hurt that he accidentally joined a club for fujoshis….wait this is a good idea he should stay on.

Chances I would stay on if given the chance: 120%

Campione! (Diomedea)

“The “battle fantasy” story follows an ordinary high school student named Godou Kusanagi who kills a god and claims its powers. As a result, Godou becomes a Campione who slays other gods.”

It’s not going to be unique. It’s not going to be special. It’s not even going to make sense. But neither will be my decision to watch it be either.

Arve Rezzle (ZEXCS)

“In this cyber science-fiction story, a boy named Remu goes to take back the soul of his little sister, who disappeared in net space.”

I actually want to watch this show not so much for the retrieving of sister’s soul bit,  but for the net space bit. How does the net space in the world work, such that it can take souls like a downloadable Grim Reaper for both PC and OS X? So Reimu Remu has to somehow, enter the net space, and retrieve a soul? Is the soul now a collection of bytes floating about in cyberspace? So many potential questions this show could bring about. It’s very interesting. Will watch.

Humanity has Declined (AIC A.S.T.A)

“The story is set several centuries into the slow decline of mankind. Earth has now become the realm of “fairies” — 10-centimeter-tall (about 4-inch-tall) creatures with remarkable intelligence and an appetite for sweets. The human protagonist of the story serves an important duty as the international arbitrator between the fairies and humans, and she returns to her former hometown of Kusunoki. She chose this job because she thought it was an easy job she can do, even when she is as old as her grandfather. However, she learns that her job is anything but simple when she meets the fairies.”

100% chance of Carillus squeaming and smiling at his screen like a sexual predator.

200% chance of Valence squeaming and smiling at his screen like a sexual predator.

Kingdom (Studio Pierrot)

“In the Warring States Period of ancient China (475-221 BCE), Shin and Hyou are war-orphans in the kingdom of Qin. One day, Hyou is taken to the palace by a minister only to wind up on the losing side of a power-struggle. Hyou manages to return to the village, barely alive, but at least he’s now the king of Qin.”

Although I must be happy to see that it isn’t genderbent, this reminds me of the first time I watched Sengoku Basara and saw them fight. With their spirits. In the air. [Correct me if I’m wrong Azure.]
I hope that doesn’t happen again.

 

Tari Tari (P.A. Works)

“This story is about five high school students who think they’re grown-up. Wakana Sakai once took music lessons, but she withdrew from music after losing her mother. Konatsu Miyamoto is a positive-thinking girl who loves singing and spends time after school at the vocal music club. Sawa Okita is a spirited archery club member who dreams of becoming a horse rider. Taichi Tanaka is a chronically late badminton team member who lives with his college student sister. “Wiin” just transfered into Wakana’s class after spending 12 years abroad. Music brings the five musketeers together into an ensemble during their last summer in high school.”

Generally synopses are to sell and promote anime, not to turn you off from watching them. This show sounds like a boring pile of shit cunt fuck. Notice that the previous sentence didn’t even make much sense because reasons for watching this show are just that far beyond me.

The Aesthetics of a Wayward Hero (ARMS)

“The story follows an international training organization named Babel which protects the young people returning from another world. A wayward hero named Akatsuki has come back to the real world from a world of sword and magic called Areizaado, along with beautiful girl who is a demon king’s daughter.”

……ARMS? ARMS is a studio?
*does a quick google*

>produced Queen’s Blade, Ikkitousen, Hyakka Ryoran and Elfen Lied amongst other things.

You know, I never really knew if Elfen Lied’s popularity was a troll or not, but what I do remember is despite how horrible the show’s plot turned out to be, the art was complete shit. I understand the aesthetic of animating just like the manga, but nonetheless production quality was shit. I doubt this show can have good art at all.

Knowing ARMS briefly I expect it to be full of ecchi and sex jokes, because they’re just so creative.

 

Sword Art Online (A-1 Pictures)

“The story revolves around a boy named Kazuto “Kirito” Kirigaya who enters a virtual-reality, massively multi-player online (MMO) world called “Sword Art Online.” There is no escape from this world unless the player clears the game, but “game over” means the death of the player.”

[Quick shoutout to massd95 who has been fanboying over this for months and generally bugging the hell out of me, pressuring me to watch it.]

Look, this is the literal meaning of being a god in cyberspace. When everyone is fighting for survival, you are like a giant amongst dwarves. Powerful, mighty, respected. Your life doesn’t involve grades at this point. It’s about being a hero. Slaying creatures, protecting the innocent, in the relaxing medieval era, surrounded by fantasy buildings and beautiful RPG forests.

Except for the dying part. That kind of sucks.

Will watch.

A Super-Liberal Interpretation of a Hundred Poems: Love Song (TYO Animations)

“The story is a “super-liberal interpretation” of the Hyakunin Isshu anthology of poems that were written between the 7th and 13th centuries in Japan. The anthology features 100 romantic poems from 100 different poets such as The Tale of Genji’s Murasaki Shikibu. The poems are also used as the basis for the karuta card game.”

>implying Japan isn’t liberal at all about anime adaptations

Chances Valence will watch: 0%

Summer Snow Rendezvous (Dogakobo) (noitaminA)

“The story of a love triangle between Hazuki, a young man who works part time at a flower store, Rokka, the widow who owns the store, and the ghost of Shimao, Rokka’s deceased husband.”

How the fuck does that even work? Does Hazuki fight for Shimao’s approval? Why not he just call in an exorcist and end everything from the start?

Blood Lad (???)

“High school girl steals vampire boss’s heart. Girl is suddenly killed. Vampire vows to bring her back to life. Comedy ensues.”

Still a better story than Twilight.

Chitose Get You!! (???)

“Chitose is an 11-year-old girl who is madly in love with an older guy named Hiroshi. He works at the town hall right next to the school and Chitose spends every day relentlessly pursuing him. Can Chitose ever convince Hiroshi to go out with her?”

Because lolis chasing guys is totally – wait a minute, I’ve never seen a show where a loli chasing a guy was the actual focus of the show. And an actual child to boot. It’s kind of like Usagi Drop only simpler and less shocking. As much as the premise sounds generic, upon further inspection it’s rather unique. Hmm, this is rather relevant to my interests.

*glasses glint*

Chances of Valence squealing like someone who’s unaware that he’s about to be caught on film by Chris Hansen: 100%

22. Yuru Yuri ♪♪ (Dogakobo)

“Right after starting middle school, Akari Akaza joins the Amusement Club which is composed solely of her two childhood friends, Kyouko Toshinou and Yui Funami. Chinatsu Yoshikawa, Akaza’s classmate, becomes a member after finding out about the dissolution of the Tea Club. The Amusement Club, situated at the tea room facility since the Tea Club disbanded, has no clear purpose, being free for the girls to do whatever they want.”

Pity I never watched season 1. I have no interest in this whatsoever.

Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere II (Sunrise)

“In a distant future, Japan is divided into feudal territories, which have been conquered and are ruled by outside countries. The flying city-ship Musashi, which holds the remnants of the Japanese, is being targeted and has no choice but to keep its people safe by going to war. With the fate of the world resting on its hands, the students of Musashi may hold the key to victory.”

Pity I didn’t watch the first season. If watching season 1 is already confusing enough, what are the chances of directly watching season 2 not being confusing? I mean, some anime are much more accessible to the masses than the others, but this isn’t one of them.

Rinne no Lagrange Second Season (Xebec)

“Madoka is the lone member of her school’s Jersey Club. She is one day recruited by a mysterious girl named Lan to pilot the robot “Vox” and protect her city from space invaders. They are joined by a third girl, Muginami, who has a different goal than Lan. Meanwhile, they still don’t know their enemies’ true goal, or what “Rinne” might be.”

Wait until I start on season 1. It’s sitting in my anime folder. I’ll watch it on the flight to Europe.

Chances of Valence watching it: 100% 

Dog Days’ (Seven Arcs)

“In the land of Fronaldo, the Republic of Biscotti has been aggressively attacked by the Lion Kingdom of Galette. Facing potential defeat, Princess Millhiore summons a a middle-school boy to save the country. Awaiting him is the task of becoming hero enough to defeat his enemies while learning the peculiar rules of battle in this strange new world.”

I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even see it on the chart. Yet I feel a bizarre attraction to watch it. Sure, I never finished the first season. But I’ve probably read enough doujinshi of a particular nature to catch the basic gist of it. If you catch my incredibly subtle drift, of course.

Will probably finish season 1 for reals before watching this show and mocking every episode.

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So that’s it for the AOIA season preview! I’ve had quite some fun writing this, and I hope you enjoyed your stay. Or at least smirked a bit when reading. Either one is fine. Just some words from our authors to our dear audience:

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…nothing?

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THE WHOLE “INTERVIEW” PART from the previous post WAS THE HANDIWORK OF @FKEROGE. valence first set out to parody the first post but he just gave up halfway like a whiny little bitch.  lightsaber duel in space! SYNOPSES ARE EITHER SUMMARIZED FROM OR DIRECTLY TAKEN FROM ANN ARTICLES. with a slightly sarcastic tone for some, i must add.  you lost the game. PERCENTAGES SHOWN ARE PROJECTED SHOW POTENTIAL FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE REVIEWER HIMSELF. valence forgot to use percentages for 50% of these anime and just gave a number or just left it blank. assume those left blank to be shows i’m not watching.

About Valence

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12 Responses to Summer 2012 Season Preview, by Valence.

  1. massd90 says:

    yay SAO. And Blood Lad. And Horizon II. And Arve Rezzle. And “aesthetics of a wayward hero” is a title that makes zero logical sense. Unless the show’s about art. Heroic art? meh. Why is my grammar failing now.

    • @fkeroge says:

      The original title is Hagure Yuusha no Estetica, which means… The Aesthetics of a Wayward Hero. Or you can drop Aesthetics and replace it with “Fashion Sense”.

    • Valence says:

      Oh boy, now you’re 90 instead of 95 urgh stop MESSING WITH MY MEMORY

      But anyway, true that. I’m not really excited over anything, to be honest.

  2. Smiley says:

    To paraphrase a certain army general: “You magnificent bastard, I read your post. And laughed.”

  3. Ritsuioko23 says:

    Lol this was funny! I’m only
    Going to watch about 2 of these shows this season they all look crappy. ALSO WHY U NO WATCH YURU YURI?!😦

    • Valence says:

      BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE IT ,PROBLEM?

      Also I have not watched season 1 yet. Sigh, why does everything seem more and more lacking in quality with each passing season?

  4. Justin says:

    Y U SO ALONE

    If I can find up to 5 shows I like, this season is a success. Don’t book it. (Is still looking for shows)

  5. Pingback: This Genius’s Compendium For The 2012 Summer Anime Season « Organization Anti-Social Geniuses

  6. Pingback: Organization Anti-Social Geniuses » This Genius’s Compendium For The 2012 Summer Anime Season

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