12 Days of Anime- Day 10: Valence’s pledge to stop having anything to do with ecchi, for real this time

image from The Neighbors Club

Holy shit, Valence.

warning: sappy personal shit inbound

In Ochinko episode 2, Shuusuke vows to stop watching porn after his childhood friend came back, saying how he had been living his life foolishly, and how the fillies will think they are perverts.

Guess who’s come to the same realization?

Remember that nonsense I pulled off before my 16th birthday? The whole ‘I don’t want anything more to do with ecchi’ thingmagum? Well, it’s for real for now, but not in its exact form. You’ll see soon enough. Firstly, let me explain my rationale.

A recent spate of events – no, a snowballing of little conversations and reactions – have led me to realize that I am utterly perverse. I’ve actually talked to friends about things like these, and I’ve even gone to the point of discussing hentai IRL. CyborgCommunist can vouch for me. I’ve seen so much hentai that nothing interests me anymore. Only the most extreme of genres, the most perverse of materials manage to pique my interest. The more I watched, the deeper I found myself in this genre, to the point of the most extreme ‘genres’ of it like that meme that’s been going around.

So why did I consider dropping hentai?

Depicted: Not the reason, I hope

I’ve thought about my future, of JC coming in a month or so and my surroundings. My friend told me that one of his aims was to get a girlfriend next year. Although I found it slightly naive and perhaps idealistic, I started to think about myself and how I presented myself to others. Sure, in an all-boys school, perverted jokes fly about, especially with male teachers with no females around. Make-me-a-sandwich jokes are common, not to mention easy to pull off.

But then I wonder about what that says about us as a community. I remember Azure commenting on Formspring that she merely smirks at my horrible, perverse responses. And why shouldn’t she? Why shouldn’t anyone, for that matter, when all that comes out of this mouth is filth? Depraved, depraved filth? Do I really want to present myself to strangers this way – as a hopeless creep? How can this perverseness ever win over any friends? (Unless they’re creeps too, but that’s another story.)

And then comes the counseling.

In the earlier part of the previous year, I’ve been sent to the counselor’s for depression. During the time I was sent for counselling sessions there, naive, childish me felt disgusted at things like masturbation  divulged to her my addiction, I called it back then. Addiction to what? What else did you think it could have been, considering the nature of this post?  And apparently, I was right. I had displayed the common symptoms of such an addiction, including staying up late at night just for this specific purpose…

….tl;dr i displayed the symptoms of having an addiction to pr0n. It was never confirmed, but I really didn’t want to know the result. With the holidays coming up back then, I promptly forgot her advice. Now I remember it, and I’m filled with regret. I deleted the entirety of my H folder, swept away my torrents and cleared my history.

I pledged never to watch anymore H again.

But then it didn’t make too much sense to me. Hahahahahaha, you fool, I’m sure all the males have watched porn late at night at some point, why are you over-reacting? Besides, how can you completely avoid it – anime’s like that, right? Anyway, it’s impossible to completely shun H. It’s simply impossible to abstain forever.

Thus I realized my foolishness.

I admit, it’s difficult to completely purge myself of all this perverse thought and become purified. It’s a start though. I can’t possible avoid ecchi altogether, for that would be impossible, but at the very least, I can at least become less of a pervert, and maybe be able to make more friends, and become a better person overall. That sappy girlfriend shit’s gonna have to wait though.

Will I ever be able to abstain completely? (Answer:No. ) How long will I last? (Answer: 2 days.) Should I bother keeping you guys updated? (Answer: Eew.) Will I ever become less perverted? (Answer: Probably not.) Will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions? (Answer: )

DJ, wrap this up for me.

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About Valence

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31 Responses to 12 Days of Anime- Day 10: Valence’s pledge to stop having anything to do with ecchi, for real this time

  1. Alx2oy says:

    All the best, dude..it’s gonna be tough .___.

  2. Baka-Raptor says:

    Every time you feel like watching H, do 10 push-ups.

  3. Pfffffffft, nothing wrong with ecchi stuff eh XD

    Either way, have fun doing this (I’ll give you a month tops). I’m perverse IRL and I can’t give a flying f**k so I’m gonna stay this way.

  4. massd90ssd95 says:

    Wheeee I already deleted all mah H. Except for certain VNs which are more story than H. (F/SN, Tomoyo After)

    anyway, good luck with that. Me, I’m just going to stay away from true H. Not going to shun ecchi though, seeing how much of it is present in anime.

  5. *looks at name*
    see you when you change your mind

  6. @fkeroge says:

    Personally, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with watching H. Just do it in moderation, I guess.

  7. Nopy says:

    Good luck, if you ever start to relapse, just think about what your future girlfriend would say if she saw you.

  8. Pingback: 12 Days of Anime: Final Day- AOIA is now a team blog. (As if you didn’t see this coming already) | Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity?

  9. Someone says:

    Why do you feel a need to be “pure” or “clean” or whatever? What’s wrong with honestly enjoying things that other people think are perverse or disgusting? If it makes you happy and it doesn’t interfere with your daily life, why should you stop?

    • The issue here sounds like first impressions. If you’re known for being perverse, surely that’s the first thought the comes to mind for the other party. Then there’s two kind of reactions which happen after, depending on maturity and outgoing behaviour.

      Personally, if someone said “I watch porn” to my face, I would go “HI-5! ME TOO! AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS TABLE (but they don’t have the guts to admit it)!”

      P.S It kills your sex drive?!

      P.S.S I would be more worried if a hormonal teenage boy didn’t watch porn.

      • Valence says:

        Two issues:

        One- I’m already known as a pervert in my social circle

        Two – First impressions matter

        Three- I want to stop thinking sick.

        True that it’s almost normal to do it but It’s not if you think about it all the time…

        • I guess you could try once again. But wouldn’t by ignoring H completely, the more you would think about it and feel more frustrated? To say “never again” is a very strong declaration.

          I agree with @fkeroge, moderation is the key to success.\

          On a side note, having a boyfriend who watches porn is better than having one that two-times you with 3D girls IMO.

          • Valence says:

            True that, but I have no intention on getting a girlfriend. I’m just trying to clean up my mind. I think a lot of weird things. I also fear the ‘kill sex drive’ thing. I don’t know if it’s true, but I don’t want to take any risks.

            I must admit that ‘never again’ is a bit difficult. I do understand that I have unhealthy habits, yet it’s impossible to abstain completely since it’s like, inbuilt into my brain already. It kind of runs a forbidden fruit effect in the sense that the temptation has increased. Which is funny, really.

            Moderation is the key to success, but for now, the challenge is to go cold turkey. I’ve failed already, to be honest. I’m trying to restrict myself, to stop myself with what my counselor told me. Wish me luck.

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