A personal note

Lately, I’ve been thinking.

Reading Seinime’s post on unrequited love got me in the mood for reflection.

Ever since I got a premium TF2 account, I’ve been operating in Valve Time. Remember that Project Pony schmuck I was running? Me neither. Guess how many days have passed since Day 3? I’ve also been thinking about a few things. For the entirety of the past few months, I have had no motivation to write any posts, or simply no time. When I did receive time, I found that anime was simply not as entertaining as it seemed back then. I knew that I couldn’t just stop watching and being an ani-blogger with a drop of the hat, seeing as how I’ve spent so many hours of my precious youth watching Japanese cartoons already.  My RSS reader’s been filled to the brim with new articles too, new posts that I never really caught up with. (891, and counting.)

Besides, I found new games interesting. While I hardly played any shooter games or MMORPGS thanks to a bit of motion sickness, I had since overcome those problems and find these games fun and easy to play – eating away my computer time. And when I eventually get the time, I end up debating with myself over which anime to watch ; which one everyone’s watching or which one would be good to write an article on. It wasn’t as much a problem of interest as much as it was a problem of pragmatism, I thought. Think about it like a mid-life crisis for bloggers. (Note to self: write article on blogger mid-life crisis.)

Then , as I sat down to actually write a post, with new-found determination, I found myself inevitably , scrapping and trashing the drafts I wrote. I thought to myself: who would read this? Who would want to know about any of this at all? What’s the message? What would the readers think? Will it garner page views? Guess why Project Pony is still on Day 3? One, because I don’t like the show, and two, every time I write Day 4 it sucks. Simple as that. I got frustrated. I found that less and less bloggers I knew visited AOIA any more, and that too, got me worried. Am I doing something wrong? What do I have to do to remedy this? What do I have to write about? What attracts readers, anyway? (I actually tried to write a post involving media perception, Temasek Review Emeritus and Sankaku Complex. I doubt that attracts anyone. )

And then it hit me.

I think too much about everything. I’m starting to worry that I’m a schizoid. I think too much about the people around me, sometimes to an extent where I just want to cut off social contact and hide in my house. Similarly, now I realized that I was too concerned over the blog, so much so that it’s become more important than watching anime itself. It IS an anime blog after all; hence, how can I be an aniblogger if I don’t watch anime? With the recent drop in readership and subscriber levels, I started to panic a bit more and try and come up with yet another post, but still, nothing. It’s gotten to an extent where to me, I’m not even ‘blogging’ anymore. I’m just writing articles, one after another. Shouldn’t the point of aniblogging be to blog about one’s own thoughts on anime rather than construct articles devoid of personal opinion? Shouldn’t the best way to garner readership be to , well, blog from the heart? (god that’s so damn cliche)

Hence, I decided to take a break from aniblogging for a while. Play a couple (literally) of games, read a good book, go for a run, or just laze about soaking up this holiday time. I know that I will have to take a hiatus soon, anyway, in light of my upcoming End-Of-Year exams. I’m hoping that the other bloggers of AOIA could keep up the good fight in my absence. Nevertheless, when the new anime season starts I’ll try to watch some anime and return to some good old aniblogging. And in a few days’ time, I’ll be going overseas for a holiday. All in good stead, I suppose. Here’s hoping that all goes well. I know that I must stop worrying so much about a blog, but still, here’s hoping too, for more readers once again.

See you in about a week’s time.

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About Valence

I blog things.
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26 Responses to A personal note

  1. tsurugiarashix says:

    Take it easy, Valence. You deserve some rest, so do not push yourself so hard.

  2. Shance says:

    Burnout is almost always present after engrossing yourself with any game you’ve eagerly played. And more often than not, it scrambles the mind of what you’ve been doing in the past, blogging, games or otherwise.

    You’ll just have to take a rest. Don’t think of anything else. Recuperate, think only of relaxing. That means no games, no blogging, no nothing. After, say, three days, start brainstorming, and you should feel that long-lost drive coming back like how memories start plaguing an amnesiac.

  3. Anonymous says:

    The only unchanging fact of life is that nothing is unchanging

  4. Seinime says:

    You’re taking a break to enjoy TF2? Totally understandable. Play with flomu or something! On a more serious note, it’s good to take breaks once in a while to deal with things.

    “Shouldn’t the point of aniblogging be to blog about one’s own thoughts on anime rather than construct articles devoid of personal opinion?”
    You caught me on the same train of thought as I was going to post an article about this today, but read your post and decided there was much more to be said.

    Don’t get tempted to reply to comments, now! Just relax first.

    • Valence says:

      Now I’m tempted, and I’m giving in.

      Bloggers seem to post a lot of posts out of nothing. I mean, for no reason other than readership. I’m starting to veer from the path.

      • Seinime says:

        Sure, I post out of readership, but sometimes I just enjoy finding some interesting points in an anime (ex. Mawaru Penguindrum, you frustrating head thinker) that I either relate to past knowledge, or go for learning new knowledge altogether. That way, both the reader and I learned something. Fun!

  5. Justin says:

    Oh fine Valence. Just leave us for now. We wouldn’t miss you. I think!

    (In all seriousness, take your time and come back when you’re feeling ready to write about anime again^^)

  6. Pingback: introspectives: retrospective without sugar | ganbatte.

  7. MkMiku says:

    We’ve all gone through it once. Blogging is no fun when it doesn’t feel like blogging anymore. A break is necessarily every once in a while to clear the mind. Otherwise the thoughts just keep piling up. =d Hope you enjoy you’re break. And we’ll be looking forward to your return! ^^

  8. Nopy says:

    I think you are thinking a bit too much there. My tip for success is to just write whatever you want. Most of my posts are magazine, figure, or anime reviews because those are the things I like. Every once in a while I’ll write some deep, thought-provoking post, but that usually only materializes after a few months of brainstorming and are few and far between.

  9. chikorita157 says:

    From my years of blogging, I never experience burnout or any hiatus mainly because I’m doing it for my enjoyment. The key goal is to watch what you enjoy and write posts that consists mainly of mostly thoughts with some analysis. Writing just summaries while tacking a lot of screenshots is not the best way to approach it since it causes boredom on both yourself and the readers. It also kind of defeats the purpose of having a blog since it’s all about spreading your thoughts about something.

    In addition, forcing yourself to watch shows that you don’t have interest in also causes fatigue. Just remember that you don’t have to watch every show that the season have to provide… watch the shows you enjoy and don’t feel pressured to put up a post when the episode come out. Take time and let the thoughts flow so you will have an easier time to write about it.

    • Valence says:

      I was doing it for enjoyment. I did watch what i enoyed and wrote posts that did consist of mainly my thoughts. But after a while I find myself stifled by the prospect of having to attract greater readership numbers. I found that my own stream of new, fresh thoughts had run dry. Nothing seemed to stick it.

      Forcing myself to watch MLP was in part due to my wish to understand the reasons behind its meme culture, but it doesn’t go too well. Not to mention that I had to write episodic reviews for MLP, which in itself was already a horrible idea. I don’t like writing episodic posts, so I guess I have to write and work harder.

  10. ~xxx says:

    After all, You are still young and many things come the moment you took your eyes out of it in a minute.

    I also have issues on what should I post since I got little time to blog(even Though I have impossible time, but… I hope sooner or later I could make the post that will define the half of me as an individual who has something to say.

    Take it easy. All you need to do is relax, observe and formulate your own formula (i haven’t made mine yet.), and everything will be smooth.

    Good luck and have a great week.

  11. flomu says:

    Writing posts about one-week hiatuses seems to be the new norm. Or maybe 2dt is just really influential.

  12. kantansa says:

    I personally dont like reading much, so I just skim-scanned thru the post and I got what you wanted to say. Well, I can only tell you what “I” would like to read if that would help you at all idk.

    Write this kind posts regarding something that would tell me about a fact thats not commonly known. Like? Like why hatsune miku is accepted as green haired by 52% europeans vs, only 13% japanese… Like why I like teasing my sister in Mario Kart by choosing King Teresa… Like why a 23 year old (myself) would still go watch “japanese cartoons” rather than “hollywood jumptastic super-cg movies”.

    Wish you the best.
    Btw I’ll continue visiting your site =)

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