300 Milestone Grand Ceremony Anime Awards: Bad side.

GOD WHAT THE FUCK

We’ve had some unfortunate delays, but here goes part 3 of our Milestone Grand Ceremony.

Video unrelated. Think of it as an ‘opening act’.

First things first: as a disclaimer, we don’t have Anima’s contribution in this post. Couldn’t get his part you see, so for now (hopefully) you’ll just have to make do with @fkeroge and my contributions. Once again, take note that awards might not be in order, and of course, remember that you , too, can submit your own contributions.

Awards

Horrible Plot award
Wasted award

Overrated Award
Awkward Award
It-Ruined-My-Day-Award
The Ultimate Slut Award
All-Women-are-Sluts Award
Super Generic Protagonist Award
So-Stupid-It’s-Stupid Award
Terrible Fanservice Award
All the Characters Look Alike Award
I-Felt-Nothing Award

Worst ending award

Least Explainable award
Crew-on-drugs award

I-want-to-punch-that-person-in-the-face-award

Golden Turd award
Wannabe Picasso award

Horrible Plot award

Awardee: Angel Beats!

Angel Beats! had a very beautiful premise, and a rich cast of
characters. What ruined it?

The plot is full of holes and the entire entertainment value of
the series was in the drama and the comedy. I really couldn’t believe
that this was one of Jun Maeda’s, my favorite writer’s, works. It
pains me to elaborate on why the plot sucks so bad, so I’ll just move
on. If you ask me, I might explain, but not here.

Awardee: Wind: A breath of heart

Wind: A Breath of Heart. They tried to have a plot, but we didn’t see it at all. I mean, it was actually devoid of plot. We got confusing scenes from time to time, but they never linked up at all. All of it remains unexplained and unnecessary. Much like the scene where, if I’m not mistaken, one of the characters destroys something flying about in the air. We don’t even know how she does that, or what the fuck that was.

Awkward award

Awardee: School Days

Love polygons in fiction are awkward in nature, and it’s even
more awkward if the guy who has the girls is as stupid as a rock
buried in a pile of horse dung. I can’t believe how this guy manages
to get the girls to do it with him and get caught by *insert another
girl or a camera here* almost EVERY SINGLE TIME. The hell, have some
shame, dood! It’s also very uncomfortable to see so much dramatic
tension just because of this guy. What’s so good about him, anyway?

Don’t get me wrong, I liked School Days because of showing some
relatively realistic consequences of being a stupid playboy. Good
thing that the game allows for better alternative endings.

Awardee: Kanokon

Over the course of my blogging career (if such a thing exists), some haters called some of my rants ‘moralfagging’. Consider this another one. Honestly, who enjoyed this show? Every moment was increasingly awkward to watch. Can you imagine taking 4 hours out of your life to watch 2 girls which could have starred in better ecchi shows or even hentai, trying to rape a teenager who looks like he’s 7? Hold on, this could be marketable . . . . . .

Overrated Award:

Awardee:Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu

I really don’t understand all the hype behind Haruhi back then. I
like plot. I really do, and Haruhi does provide a very good one. But
when I tried to watch it, it just bored the hell out of me. Seriously,
I think K-On! has a better entertainment value than this. You can all
hate me now.

Awardee: The World God Only Knows

While I’m tempted to argue with @fkeroge’s selection, I must focus on my own section. So anyway, I was told the manga was better than the anime. So? I’m an anime reviewer, for Christ’s sake.  I kept getting told that the show was ‘revolutionary’, ‘fresh’, new, and someone even used the words ‘definitely not your usual harem show!’ Well, it surely seems the same. All the usual tropes and archetypes. True, I give that the premise is fresh, but the rest, nah.

Now you can pick one from between us to hate!

Wasted Award

Awardee: Fractale 

Fractale, the failure of noitaminA, had a chance to shine. It had
a nice setting, and an acceptable plot. But the storyboard directing,
oh, man… don’t even get me started on how this fails. Almost nothing
was resolved by the end of the series. The character conflicts just…
disappeared while providing very vague conflict resolutions as excuses
for the very big gaps in the storytelling. The visuals don’t make up
for it.

Awardee: Angel Beats!

Anyone who’s watched Angel Beats! can see how much it…well..pretty much screwed up. Sure, I liked it, but it wasted so much in terms of plot development. Firstly, they had the extremely rushed episodes which resulted in episodes being completed mere days before their airing dates, resulting in crappy art and sketchy , undeveloped plot. However, you could see that from the start they had planned the final twist already – yet there is so little done to justify the twist, or support it. Sure, it’s charming and all, but that kind of shit only works great when it makes sense, and when the timing is allocated properly. Why the fuck was there this random guy in the computer room again? Bonus points simply because there’s Hanazawa in it.

The all-women-are-sluts award

Awardee: Yosuga no Sora

This anime ruins the image of girls everywhere. I mean, sure, I
enjoyed it because of its handling of sensitive issues like incest,
but come on… girls are people too, not sexual objects. Before the
Sora arc, it was practically ero fodder. The art was very good,
though.

Awardee: Seikon no Qwaser

It’s a world where each female is kind of judged by the amount of breastmilk they can produce. Yeah. So you can expect some hijinks. Surely I couldn’t have been the only one who found the entire premise ….weird.

Ultimate Slut award

Awardee: Chizuru Minamoto

Ah, Kanokon… with a girl like Chizuru, I salute you for being
one of the most perverted anime out there. The only thing missing is
the actual explicit content, and it would be a certified ero-anime. I
refuse to elaborate.

Awardee:  Stickfigure “Nao” Brotherfucker (I don’t hate you at all, big brother!)

Hmm, considering all 3 girls from the show are complete perverts (the mother too, if you want to be specific), Nao wins for being the ultimate slut. Sure, the childhood friend had higher levels of sluttiness, even watching the protagonist masturbate every night through a high-powered telescope.

…but Nao has had at least 7 years more time to practice. Fact.

Super Generic Protagonist Award

Awardee: Highschool of the Dead

Anime is currently suffering from a lack of good protagonists.
The common formula of a male protagonist: a pathetic weakling with
some sort of hidden potential that he doesn’t want to use, all while
having a bunch of girls get attracted to the guy because of
unexplainable reasons. Or if he doesn’t have powers, just make sure
that he is particularly good at something, or nothing at all. It also
helps if he can give out annoying speeches about heroism and
protecting loved ones, even though he doesn’t do anything.

I already forgot the name of the protagonist of this one. He’s
just too generic. No special skills, no nothing. He’s also as annoying
as Touma from Index when he gives “inspiring” speeches like a
blithering idiot. Sure, he can fire a 50-caliber sniper rifle using a
girl’s chest as a mount, but that ain’t cool.

Awardee: Mayoi Neko Overrun

The synopsis says it’s a heartwarming love comedy. Funny, seeing as how I don’t recall the existence of a single male protagonist in that show, all I remember are 2 girls and 1 cat-girl-human-alien-character.

…Hold up. This shit is great. We’ve got to film this and sell it before someone else thinks of this idea! I even thought of a title: 2 Girls 1…..Cat. Derp.

So-stupid-it’s-stupid award

Awardee:Kannazuki no Miko fight scenes

Kannazuki no Miko has the worst fight scenes in anime that I have
ever seen. It’s so bad that I even find it funny at times. I mean,
what’s with the attack named: “Sparkling Solar Wave of Ultimate
Destruction!!!” announced with a straight face? Even the original
Japanese attack sounds ridiculous. I really wonder who did the
directing for the fight scenes in this one… he/she should have stuck
with the yuri (which is great) and removed the fight scenes
altogether, or at least got rid the stupid mechas.

Also: “HIMEKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1!!!1one1eleven!!!”

Awardee: Professor Green’s fight with Takuto (Star Driver)

She was , at the time, the only one with any chance of defeating Takuto at all. The only reason she lost is that she built a function into her driver to allow her to ogle at Takuto’s body. Seriously.

It-ruined-my-day Award

Awardee: Chaos; Head

ChaoS;HEAd is a visual novel from Nitroplus, one of my most
respected VN brands, and Madhouse is a pretty decent animation studio.
When I played the original game, I was all hyped up and would play the
game 16 hours straight. It was that good. I loved the unique gameplay
style and the nice character designs. Of course, the plot was also
quite unique and engaging. Then I saw the anime.

I was at a loss for words at how the anime managed to ruin such a
good game. It was rushed, had many good stuff cut, and generally had a
bad production team. When I watched it, I was still in my senior year
in high school, and dropping anime wasn’t my style. After I finished
the damn thing, I think I was in a foul mood for a week. It was the
first time that I saw such a bad adaptation (save for Prism Ark, which
I didn’t know was a VN adaptation too).

Awardee: Oreimo (Final episodes, both the TV series and the OVA.)

I-felt-nothing award

Awardee: Yumekui Merry

What the hell is this? I’ve never seen an anime fail so much at
inducing feelings from me. I really don’t know if the writers wanted
the audience to sympathize with “Eggplant woman,” that Merry girl and
Yumeji’s house-mate, whatever their names were. Heck, I was just in a
state of complete indifference (note my avatar) while I was watching
this train wreck. Not even annoyance or rage, just pure indifference,
the sign of a complete literary failure.

Awardee: Princess Lover

..”literary failure”. Heh.

Can’t remember the show save for the fact that the European or Western or whatever else girl looked kind of like Saber. Vaguely remember the climax though, boring as hell.

 Least Explainable Award

Awardee: Fractale

Look, Fractale tried. It really did. But with a director like
Yamakan, trying is simply not enough. The series ended with lots of
sudden unexplainable developments and and plot holes big enough to
make meteorite disasters pale in comparison. What IS the Fractale
system? Why did people start using it? Why the hell did they need a
little girl for it? Why did Yamakan direct this? Why did the ending
fail so much? So many questions… no answers.

Awardee: Rio- Rainbow Gate-

Dealer with luck-giving AOE skills on autocast keeps her job at a fancy ACME-style casino while having to resort to embarassingly scantily-clad positions and having a duel with the woman who can’t get things right and thinks Rio’s her enemy for some reason, before Rio becomes God and ends the war in the Middle East, and the series ends with her undead father on top of the casino with a random loli. I kid you not.

This show ,overall, raises multiple questions, such as the subtle “How the fuck are the dealers doing that”, , the counter-intuitive “Why the fuck did they give out the gates with so much fucking powers to fucking people who work in a fucking casino,” or the classic “What the fuck is going on?”

Crew-on-drugs award

Awardee: Yuri-seijin Naoko-san

Japan, would you please stop making these kinds of cartoon
failures? It’s a disgrace to the glory of yuri. There’s not even a
single scene that had any yuri in it. Instead you put put some strange
creatures from different planets named after the different kinds of
perverts in the world. Hell, Groper Planet? Ugh… the one who thought
out this crap is clearly high on ecstacy, or some not-so-legal stuff.

Awardee: Kanokon

I wanted to put Seikon no Qwaser or P&SwG, but those shows were actually entertaining. Kanokon was a pain to watch. I literally ached whenever I watched an episode, because I had to keep slapping myself to convince myself the show was real, and I had to keep punching myself whenever the main characters spoke so I wouldn’t destroy my laptop with a flurry of punches, followed by tossing, crushing and pounding my one of my many hammers and misc. DIY tools, before being thrown down 11 storeys, and being pissed upon before being set on fire with PHOSPHOR playing in the background on my MP3 player, after which the same process performed on my MP3 player. Fuck.

Wannabe Picasso award

Awardee:Fortune Arterial ~Akai Yakusoku~

I have heard very good things about the visual novel, and I will
still play it when the translation gets finished. But heck, the
anime… I have never seen a work of fiction that ridicules the great
vampires so much since Twilight. I don’t really know why people want
to make vampires creatures that humans can sympathize with, more so
have a romantic relationship with them. Many more anime have tried and
failed to do this, so why not learn? I’m okay with it, but please,
don’t ruin their image. Don’t make them look pathetic. They’re not
supposed to be.

Awardee:Minami-ke Okaeri

What’s with the random new changes that make all the characters look like chipmunks?

I-want-to-punch-that-person-in-the-face-award

Awardee: Code Geass , Suzaku

My goodness, I can’t believe someone like this can actually
exist! He’s exactly the kind of guy that I would like to see having
every finger of his nailed to a board, fingernails removed, legs
soaked in boiling oil, eyes gouged out by hand, impaled and burned at
the stake. I hate him that much.

I mean no ill will against Suzaku fans out there, but this guy
will be the kind of bastard that I will never get along with. He’s
just… ARGH! He’s the embodiment of every “human” trait that I hate.
He has some good things in him, I’m sure, but my judgement is too
clouded with absolute hatred to care.

Awardee: KYUBEY

As if the pictures weren’t too obvious a clue already. Anyway, I wasnt to punch him/her/it for other reasons. Kyubey’s body seems to be made up of marshmallows. One, punching him in the face will rid the world of at least one thing it hates. Two, we get to see how Kyubey splatters to a punch to the face. Last, I like marshmallows. They taste good roasted by the fire.

Worst Ending award:

Awardee:Prism Ark and Kampfer

I can’t even remember the details of the ending of Prism Ark.
It’s just that terrible. All I can recall is that they somehow destroy
some giant golem thing and then they fly off to space. Wow.

Kampfer… don’t ever speak of it’s ending when I’m around… I
may seriously kill someone if you do.

Awardee: Ookami Kakushi

Second-last episode: So many questions, so many things unresolved. Time to watch the last episode to conclude everything on a high note!

Last episode: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

They literally chose the final episode to be the filler episode for the series. What the flying fuck-

School Days’ ending wasn’t that bad, since it killed off the characters we utterly despised. Now, Ookami Kakushi’s ending was retarded. They took the badass main character and made her dress up in a bunny suit – and not the sexy kind either- , just a big, pink fluffy bunny suit. That’s it. Fuck. My eyes.

drawfag.

Golden Turd Award

Awardee:Onii-chan no Koto Nanka Zenzen Suki Janain Dakara ne!!

This show has EVERYTHING that I dislike. Slutty girls? Check. An
incredibly stupid protagonist? Check. Really bad art? Check. Really
bad sense of humor? Check. A plot that can make make a playwright
cough up blood? Check. Heavy BL undertones? Check. Get this steaming
pile of pig crap away from me…

Awardee: Ookami Kakushi

Ookami Kakushi. Definitely. I think it’s worse than Mars of Destruction and Apocalypse Zero, and that’s saying something. At least those shows were so bad, they got funny. Not Ookami Kakushi. I’ve ranted about this before. We have this deformed pile of crap they called a plot, random action scenes, BL undertones (almost acted out, too. ) , retarded backstory, undefined and imminently forgettable characters as well as the most cardboard-like excuse for a villain ever. And what’s up with that stupid ending? Someone get me the eye bleach, people!

————————————————————————————

So that’s the award ceremony for now. Hopefully we’ll still get Anima’s submission in time, and hopefully, we’ll get enough submissions from you guys to make a compilation post. So, with that, we end this post. Live long and prosper. Good night, and good luck. Out there. That-a-away.

Until then, see you next time.

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About Valence

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12 Responses to 300 Milestone Grand Ceremony Anime Awards: Bad side.

  1. kluxorious says:

    what the hell is Ichigo doing in here?

  2. Still laughing at the tags used for this post, but anyway…..moving on.

    The Super Generic and I-felt-nothing awards, were kind of my sentiments exactly, as well as some of the other ones. Been thinking of making a list of my own, but I need to finish about three more series that I still have in progress before getting to that. Looking forward to Anima’s list, if he decides to do one.

  3. Azure says:

    For some reason, I’ve been scrolling up and down the entire post just to see Kyubey…

    The OreImo Ending just pretty much ruined my day too that I want to punch Kirino and Brosuke in the face. As for the overated award, I could choose which one of you 2 to fault and ended up agreeing with you guys…
    And I think Panty is disappointed that she didn’t win the ultimate slut award.

  4. meltedpoo says:

    Everything here…oh my god. It’s all so funny and accurate. I agree with so many things it would be a pain to go through them all.

    Seems like everyone shares a common hatred for Kanokon.

    Ahh…finally! Someone who hates Suzaku-gay’o-Kururugi

  5. baka~ says:

    I shouldn’t have read this post after eating… shit… laughing til I throw up is not a good idea X_X

  6. ~xxx says:

    Can’t stop laughing….

    The generic awards…
    Man, I could even find that interesting.

    and so does I felt nothing awards… It hit me.

    Yumekui Merry was supposed to be my favorite before they hit me with a very questionable ending and not extending it to fighting Pharos Elcres or such.

  7. Overlord-G says:

    Ookami Kakushi was fun but forgettable, just like Yumekui Merry so I didn’t hate them as much as you guys do.
    I agree that Angel Beats was the least awesome of KEY’s works but certainly not horrible.

    Hmm, Haruhi Suzumiya overrated? I won’t argue with that one since it’s what I call an acquired taste type of anime, just like Nichijou.

    I still don’t get what the big deal is with god only knows but I haven’t seen it yet so I have no right to complain…yet.

    I see that @fkeroge has secretly been reading both my review and comments on High School of the Dead.

    I already went into full detail on how KnM’s ONLY draw is ChiMeko’s relationship so I need not repeat myself on explaining why everything else on the show was lacking. Hey don’t diss Souma’s legendary HIMEKO! scream of manliness, for it’s almost as manly as Kamina from Gurren Lagann and that my friends is a praiseworthy accomplishment.

    Kampfer…Kaede has an all girl harem and Shizuku’s awesome before she got all googly over Natsuru. So yeah, it’s a horrible show, yes, but those two serve their purpose of keeping me fed.

    Can I enter Touma from Stellvia of the Universe as the most ridiculous boyfriend ever?

  8. MkMiku says:

    I don’t think The World God Only Knows was overrated–it’s just a niche anime. It will appeal to certain people more than others. Though, you could make that argument for every popular anime, God Only Knows focuses on a specific type of otaku, kinda like NHK.

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