An introspective : Ambivalence, or is it Ambiguity?

As most of you would have read by now, today AOIA turns 1 year old. Being the emo reflective sort, I tend to do a little reflection on these little milestones. And thus began an introspective on blogging – an introspective on opening AOIA.

I’ve often repeated how AOIA started out to be nothing more than a personal blog. Hence the title pun. I’d honestly never expect AOIA to evolve into a full-time anime blog – even though I did dabble in anime posts once in a while back then in AOIA’s infancy, it was only after quite a few months did the blog become anime-oriented. Before that, it was just life posts, filler posts aplenty, loot posts, and pretentious anime posts. You can check them out yourself. Some of the posts even had Greek titles, for Christ’s sakes. I look back upon the old times and think : oh darn, I was way more stupid back then, huh?

I estimate the tipping point to be some time around the end of June. For reasons I can’t remember , around that period I was kind of melancholic. Posting about life didn’t have that same zing to it. It used to be entertaining , but now it seems like a chore. It had came to me like an epiphany: I’d given up (blogging stuff on) life. It was then did I give up on posting life posts altogether. I had to eventually move those kind of posts to Tumblr, away from all the stats-obsessed razzle-dazzle that is WordPress.

From then on all the way to August, I was still kind of melancholic. I was drifting in and out of the blogging mood. Some life posts did come up once in a while, but most posts tended to be like FB updates : short, concise, and rushed out in a couple of minutes. I remember times when I complained about writer’s block when it was simply because I hadn’t been watching any anime at all. I felt close to giving up, until a few comments put me back in my place, and slowly, this was where I felt AOIA was gaining pace.

For one, I decided to dump the episodic posts gradually. Why? For ambiguous reasons, of course. And also because all the episodic posts were pretty much the same. Why not directly skip to the ‘my thoughts’ part and elaborate on it rather than be part of the sheeple? With blogs like 2D-Teleidoscope and other assorted editorial blogs going onto my feed reader, I guess you could say I learnt slowly. Really slowly. So much so that it took me until October to get the hang of it. And I still managed to get respectable results for school too – suck it, critics – who says I can’t blog and do this at the same time?

Eventually, AOIA got more and more focused, and by that, I mean more ambiguous -which was good in a sense. After all, we started bringing in philosophy, research, books, and analyses into the posts. Things got less and less like Bad Book Club, and more and more like Freakonomics. Then again, people still ask me : why do you blog? That is indeed a good question. Why do I blog? Why do I blog about anime, on a regular basis, even if I don’t watch anime as much? Why put so much effort into blogging, so much time to the extent where it identifies my personality ? Why? Is it for the satisfaction? The numerical stats? Or is it the warm feeling of being able to engage in discussion and feel part of this special clique?

Which then brings me to recent affairs: AOIA really did become a team blog. I already hesitated before I added Carillus to the cast at first – he managed to do so because I felt compelled due to age , and we kinda knew each other somewhat – and the results weren’t too bad, but the awkward feeling is still there. Blogging at a blog – which is no longer your own. But that’s just the pessimistic view. Even as we speak, the stats are shooting through the roof – today might even set an all time high. Blogging as a team : to an optimist, who enjoys the idea of discussion and numerical stats, he/she would definitely see the good side of this : even more discussion, even better stats, and of course, even more ambiguity.

Cheers to yet another ambiguous year.

This is funny.

About Valence

I blog things.
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39 Responses to An introspective : Ambivalence, or is it Ambiguity?

  1. afkeroge says:

    Before anything else, I would like to say: Congratulations on getting 1039 views yesterday and hitting the first year of AOIA. It must be a gift to you by the great beyond.

    I am very happy that you let us become authors here. I really am. I am hoping for more posts and views to come.

    Aw, what the hell, YOU ROCK!

    • Valence says:

      We rock ;D

      You don’t have to write every day you know, take it easy , yeah? No need to force yourself (lol)

      Another gift from the great beyond – someone else’ll be posting sometime before Sunday this week. Stay tuned for updates!

  2. Marina says:

    Well, this was a cool post to read. I really liked getting your thoughts on starting up a blog and going through a lot of changes to become what it is now. I can only hope that my young blog hangs in there and eventually becomes as well-read as AOIA. Since I’m a pretty private person and don’t plan on adding additional writers to my own blog, I still really enjoy reading all the different voices on yours.

    *raises a glass to another year*

    • Valence says:

      AOIA? Well-read? I wouldn’t say that yet. . . .

      Let’s work hard, yeah ?

      I’m a pretty private person too, but I figured I might as well try new things once in a while, yeah? Besides, pragmatism comes into play too here.

  3. Anima says:

    Great post. It’s nice to hear a little about the history. Despite my stalking and digging of your old blog posts, it’s nice to hear first hand. I echo @fkeroge when I say we’re both really glad you let us on board. I don’t know either of you very well, but I feel a good connection in our posts. I hope we continue to do well and become friends. 🙂

  4. Nopy says:

    I think most people go through the same process of learning and discovery, followed by a realization of what their blog should be. I went through the same process. My first posts were mainly about my personal experiences, but then I started branching out into anime, games, manga, figures, magazines, tech, etc. Eventually, I settled on anime, magazines, and figures.

  5. Justin says:

    Congratulations on your one year anniversary. But try and make it to your second anniversary, ok?

  6. ~xxx says:

    Nice, It feels like the upsurge is just beginning.

    try to Make it to your 25th anniversary…

  7. Azure Hoshizora says:

    Happy anniversary~ And cheers, indeed to a new ambiguous year for AOIA

    I think I only got a hang of essay writing after browsing editorial styled aniblogs: thought me way more than 3 years of english classes in secondary school. Justified I wasn’t listening in class so…

    Sadly, I still can’t say that I have learned anything substantial about blogging so far… Must work harder…

  8. Congrats for the one year anniversary and good luck in the future! ;D

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  10. Hooray for the one year mark! And your epic stats.

    I look forward to this next year.

    Also: upside down picture is win.

  11. MkMiku says:

    Congratz on the one year! I wonder where everyone is going be a year from now. ^^

  12. Shance says:

    Never expected this to happen since you’re pretty active yourself. But well, things happen. Good luck with that.

  13. Bass says:

    Wow I can’t believe this blog is only a year old. I always thought your guys were older than us XD

    But congrats on the milestone, it’s great to see that you finally settled on a direction for the blog. I really like the results >:#3

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