On the April Fool(s)

As the age-old anniversary of a trivial event in which a vain cock was tricked by a fox and the result of nothing more than a copying error, April Fool’s Day has become nothing more than an opportune day on which rational human beings prefer to lose their sanity for a couple of minutes in other to perform mischievous monkeyshine upon their fellow peers for what denizens of the internet would call, ‘for the[sic] laughing out louds [sic]”. But , I pose you the question: what does April’s Fool Day, when viewed within the context of nothing more than eons and eons passing each other and events happening as the results of certain reactants involved together rather than simply, human experience transcending through time, mean?

If I had to put it simply, it does not mean anything at all. You may be involved in carrying out a, what youths call, prank in order to start a laughing fit or to perform an act of severe , scarring ignominy upon the most innocent of victims, and perhaps you might reach your nugatory and ultimately meaningless goal, but this aforementioned event is as significant as a strand of hair on my head, doomed to a fate of being cut off by hairdressers eventually and ultimately forgotten and ceasing to exist. Your foolish pranks and misdemeanour will ultimately fade away, as soon as within 300 seconds or so of your little prank, and fade away into the endless nothingness of events past and time lost, and soon, much like the Pyramids of Giza and other buildings of the world, eventually crumble away into nothingness and be forgotten.What is the point of me, foolishly spending so much time to plan intricate pranks that ultimately fail to impress?

Since we’ve now identified that ultimately the act of performing an act befitting that of a ruffian or an uncontrollable child is insignifcant and worthless in the context of time itself, ask yourself the question : why bother? Why swap classes , only for not only no laughter to be generated thanks to the deadpan, serious teachers, and remember this moment of embarassment and disappointment as it gets ingrained in your mind? Why lie to others hoping for laughter or anger from the intended recipients of your lie when all you achieve is for more anger and perhaps, even hate? Why even bother carrying out a prank when even the emotions generated, be it anger, joy or hate, will all be ultimately forgotten as though nothing had happened? What does all your resources spent on planning pranks and carrying them out compare to the 40 or so years in which scientists predict that our world’s oil supply will run out? Take the few seconds in which I procured that image of the Joker from Google to be used in this post. What do those few seconds mean when compared to how long we’ve sustained ourselves as a planet for eons ever since the Big Bang? Even the writing of this very post is a testament to the penultimate futility of our actions and existence.

It , of course, seems illogical to think this way : after all, should our lives be nothing more than the result of endless machinations and forces that we do not understand, and then we becoming nothing more than nothingness itself, what is the point of life itself? However, however illogical it may seem, it is the truth. Saviours like the white, fluffy mascot Kyubey and the endless reach of the witch-slaying magical prepubescent girls are too ludicrous to exist in real life. At night, before I sleep, I stare out of the window into the night, thinking calmly that eventually all that I love – myself, my family, my gadgets and hobbies, my school, my friends and so on- will all eventually be sent into the void of death and ultimately victims to the heat death of the universe, trapped by the total entropy of the universe that shall forever end life. I know that eventually, the beautiful greenery around me , all the nature and the oceans and the forests will all eventually cease to exist, not even as a speck, when our sun eventually gives out and Earth being completely oblilerated.

I suppose I am indeed defecating on the gathering, as you young folks say, when I say that by trying to performing out insignificant April Fool’s jokes in the futile attempt to gather some laughter, which in the end, shall be insignificant as well, and spending time trying to plan out all of these worthless measures, you are merely squandering and wasting your time as an individual who continues to exist in our constant universe at this time of writing. It is pitiful indeed, to be completely logical, as we see how pitifully short our lives are when compared to the grand scheme : it will be saddening to see how we spend our short existence – perhaps we will get married and have a family, perform charity work to help the less fortunate, or simply go to fakku.net and wank until the end of time, but ultimately all of it will be swallowed into the void of inexistence and total entropy, to become completely insignificant when compared to everything else that continues to exist, and these pranks we carry out on a day as meaningless as the 1st of April ,shall soon cease to exist and be remembered , except by a select few, who too will eventually die,cease to exist and fade to nothingness. By extension , everything you choose to do from now on will prove to be ultimately meaningless, pointless and insignificant, eventually being cast into the shadows of space-time , never to be remembered by anyone and ceasing to exist.

Perhaps, after all, April Fool’s day and all the other meaningless things we may choose to do may serve as a way of stalling the inevitable dread that is Thanatos, but that too, is insignificant and nothing more than a foolish notion, filled with hope yet made of despair.

tl;dr: Everything you love will die and everything you do is meaningless.

There is no hope, there is no salvation, there is no release.

There is no God.

Happy 1st of April.

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About Valence

I blog things.
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37 Responses to On the April Fool(s)

  1. Anima says:

    My first of April starts in 66 minutes. What a beautiful way to start it.

    • Valence says:

      Are you sure it wasn’t yesterday?

      • Anima says:

        Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
        Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
        We-we-we so excited
        We so excited
        We gonna have a ball today

        Tomorrow is Saturday
        And Sunday comes after…wards
        I don’t want this…

        …wait what.

        • Valence says:

          Damn it, you beat me to it. Let me try and put a twist on it.

          Yes, Today was Thursday, Thursday,
          Today i-is Fried Egg, Fried Egg (Pardyin’)
          Wii-wee-we so excited
          We so excited
          We gonna have a ball today

          Tomorrow is Saturday
          And some gay comes afterwards.

          ….I’ve got nothing.

  2. Janette says:

    I can get make sure no every celebrates April Fool’s Day again. Make a contract with me.

  3. kluxorious says:

    I read this post from the beginning to end. You got me good

  4. Azure Hoshizora says:

    Well that sounded rather depressing.

    At least you didn’t have to see your classmates cross dress as a desperate attempt to create some laughs. It did work on some people though, others like me just felt really disturbed.

    • Valence says:

      Well, this year was fail for our class. Only one bad prank that lasted 3 minutes.

      And it isn’t depressing – I am merely stating the truth.

      • Azure Hoshizora says:

        only 3 minutes, you guys need to put in more effort into your pranks

        aprils fools is rather depressing, or it might be more accurate to say that I don’t see any difference in april the 1st and april the 2nd. The chances of you being in danger of humiliation is slightly higher for the former, thats all.

        • Valence says:

          We did! But the teacher we were against had a special flair. He can tell a ludicrous joke while having the same expression. Goddamn deadpan, we got owned.

  5. Amerowolf says:

    Well! Someone clearly was the butt of a bad April Fools day prank once. Your logical words say it all.

  6. Baka-Raptor says:

    tl;dr indeed, but I’m commenting anyway because someone always gives me the thumbs up no matter what I write

  7. afkeroge says:

    As much as I wanted to read that post, my body won’t let me somehow. and for the record, the Joker is one of my favorite villains of all time.

Comments are closed.