This week’s episode was simply much more better than the one last week. Aside from introducing new characters into the cast, the show has taken on a whole new level of sophistication and entertainment value. Let’s review the episode, shall we?

Insert generic OP here

The episode starts with Rio dressed in a skimpy costume in a commercial, encouraging potential gamblers to come to Howard City Resort to have their lucky day. Naturally impressed by Rio’s breast physics, the loli who shouldn’t really be allowed to stay and linger around in the casino with a dealer applauds her effort.


Needless to say, Rio is frustrated that the loli wasn’t given a skimpy costume too, and thus decides to complain to her boss, Howard.

This is usually the scene which leads to the heroine being forced to do some sexual act to gain her freedom, but eventually leads to a sexual relationship.

Howard, who was feeling unusually that day, decides to let her off the hook and hook her up with a task even more difficult : training the new Russian dealer without a Russian accent, Anya Helsing, future successor to the Helsing family of vampire hunters, to work in the casino.


This is usually the scene in which the heroine has to perform aforementioned sexual act with Howard in front of the other heroine to teach her the ropes of being a slave too.

Afterwards, Rio and the loli with a stupid name watch Anya shuffle cards for blackjack. Rio is impressed with her skills to shuffle cards in a fancy fashion and decides that that is enough for a dealer. Before they proceed to watch Anya’s skills in Russian Roulette (what you’d expect, she’s from Russia), Anya shouts in glee , as she spots something across Rio’s room.

Anya has spotted Rio’s prized possession: a legendary Dragon Ball. The Dragon Balls were scattered throughout the world, and lore states that whoever collects all the Dragon Balls will be granted any wish. Flashback: after defeating a mysterious man at Yu-Gi-Oh some casino game, the man , humbled by the pure almighty power that is Rio’s animated breasts, hands over his Dragon Ball card to her. In response to Anya’s outburst, Rio humbly replies that her only wish was to use it to grow the loli a penis, so they could save money on toys (they break theirs every week, and had to sell the loli’s clothes to buy more : that’s why she wears the same thing every episode)

Meanwhile, miles away, another holder of one of the legendary Dragon Balls drives in his phallic car with his personal harem. Who is this legendary man? None other than Elvis Presley, of course – resurrected from the dead just to duel with Rio Bulma Rollins. Back at the casino, Anya,being a clumsy Russian vampire hunter , obliterates nearly everything, in the process helping that actress-whose-name-we-conveniently-forgot strike the jackpot, who then proceeds to rub her hair furiously for good luck, before she’s dragged off-screen , presumably to have sex.

Suddenly, a challenger appears! Elvis , the King, shows up and uses his AOE skills to help other gamblers win as well. He makes his way to Rio’s table and challenges her to a duel to get her Dragon Ball. Howard agrees to the duel, much to Rio’s annoyance.

As they stand on the beach, awaiting the duel to commence, Rio is caught offguard as Howard activates the Duel Arena, which rises through the sand and gives everyone a golden shower. However, this isn’t any average duel arena…

It’s a SHADOW DUEL! A GIANT ROULETTE CUM BOWLING ARENA! SPONSORED BY THE TRIFORCE! The loser of the shadow arena not only loses his/her Dragon Ball card, but also loses all of his/her lovers. Rio couldn’t take the idea of not having sex with Mint and thus resolved to win. The way to play the game is to bowl down the bowling alley, and the opponent places a bet on where the ball lands. Needless to say, this is just roulette….but on a giant scale.


Rio goes Super Saiyan mode. Elvis just strips, cos' he's, you know, the King.

Being the King, Presley lets Rio choose, but tries to bowl a few times before starting the bet.


You see that equation on the bowling ball? I'm not sure how that equation helps him in any way.

After ensuring that every possible scenario had been calculated, Rio and Elvis then proceed to fight in a meta-world volleyball battle. Like Evangelion, which got philosophical towards the end, this part got philosophical too, with numerous motifs hidden amongst its numbers.

For instance, this scene where Rio is held down by numbers, is a metaphor for the numerous shackles which bound us down in our number-crunching society : where everything revolves around profit and success rate. Rio was forced to duel because Howard believed that it would be exciting and thus draw customers, and so on.


Needless to say, Rio pulls out her secret weapon : a pink-coloured one  – a metaphor for her only love, Mint. This giant number , which also represents her desire for the loli to grow a member, deflects the ball and strikes Elvis down to whence he came, allowing Rio to win the Shadow Duel. Unlike the previous episode, Rio, being no fan of necrophillia, opts not to let Zombie Elvis fondle her breasts. Zombie Elvis , as a result of losing the Shadow Duel, loses his personal harem, as well as his dignity,pride, Dragon Ball card, and his clothes. Rio thus gains her second Dragon Ball card.

“….is this shit?”

I’m convinced I can find a similar screencap every week so I can compile one gigantic post with all the antagonists bemoaning the steaming pile of chush’ sobach’ya after the show ends.

Oh dear, that would mean I have to finish this show, doesn’t it?

P.S. At the rate this show is going, I’ll learn how to say ‘shit’ in 12 or more different languages.

About Valence

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22 Responses to Rio: DOUBLE RAINBOW Gate 02 – SHADOW DUEL! COMMENCE!

  1. biotoxic says:

    That should be divide by 4, not minus 4 no?

    I’m kind of curious now what the actual episode was like. Wait, no, I didn’t just think that!

    Any lulz in the episode 3 preview?

  2. chikorita157 says:

    I actually lived watch it with someone else and this episode is really bad. The problem with this show is that it doesn’t make any sense and the situations are so random. While the girls are cute, I can’t really watch this since it’s so bad it’s horrible. Thus, I can never see casinos the same way ever again.

    • Valence says:

      I wonder how you folks at SSCSAV (?) must have responded to the video.

      The show doesn’t make much sense – and this comes from a fan who is willing to discard logic for entertainment. I mean, a giant roulette table…in the sand? Holy crud. The scenarios are poorly conceived, the whole thing reminds me of YGO Abridged , where they keep making fun of the whole ‘ believe in the cards’ thing – they actually fight, talk with the cards, using them to fight and even more. I’m sure Rio must have had sex with the King of Spades or something.

      • chikorita157 says:

        I have watched it with Roghek since the other two dropped out or didn’t came on when we watched it… If you are really that interested in our commentary, I could ask permission and package it as a podcast since I have the commentary recorded.

  3. ariannasterling says:

    Do you just really like torturing yourself? There is no force on the planet that could possibly make me watch this series.

    The post definitely amused me, though 😀

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  5. Justin says:

    I want to watch something better.

    I want to watch something better.

    I want to watch something better–

    (But Justin, you said you’d watch three eps before passing judgement–)


  6. Azure Hoshizora says:

    My current thought… Whats up with the villains’ eyebrows?

  7. Alx2oy says:

    oh gosh.. >< *shudders*

    on a side note, another awesome post XD

  8. hikikomori1969 says:

    It seems like the Hollywood actress has a gambling problem…

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