Cardfight!! Vanguard is the best cosplay-based show ever

Picture this post, in your mind.

Instead of sitting in front of your computer screen in a dark room, you are now standing in a planet that’s just like ours, only that it’s called ‘Ghey’.

You are nothing but a weak spirit formed on this planet.

However, these weak spirits are granted two special abilities.

One: The ability to bamboozle viewers from outside the fourth wall by coming up with lots of bull and unexplained rules. When finally explaining said rules, one must carefully demonstrate how the game seems like nothing more than a Weiss Scharz ripoff but with 3 ‘rearguards’, with some Duel Masters thrown into the mix.

Two: the ability to change forms into ‘Vanguards’, leaving you with various chances to do 100% accurate cosplay. This is where the likes of furries and various fetishists can jack off. Always looked – and sounded – like a girl? Stardust Trumpeter is your starting card.

So what are you waiting for? Ride the Vanguard with me! (but in a secluded place)
————————————————————————————————————————–

Honestly, something died within me when this show aired. For one, it’s nothing but a shameless advertisement for some card game no-one plays. And for someone who’s played various TCGs (and wasted lots of moolah) , this game (what’s the card game called again?) seems to be nothing but a poorly conceived love-child from various card games I used to play or had played. The entire ‘trigger’ , ‘rearguard’ and ‘life counter’ gimmicks reminded me of Weiss Scharz, a game I played once simply because my friend bought me a LS deck for the lols. The poses, the names (BLUSTER BLADER? ) all reminded me of Yu-Gi-Oh and Duel Masters. Heck, the lead reminds me of Yugi too, since he gets his own ass kicked in the first episode by showing bullies his prized possessions and then proceeds to meet a character with spiky, shonen-style hair who speaks in passion about card games. (YGO, ‘season 0.)

JAM Project even sang the OP for this, which makes me wonder why.

tl;dr Watch this only if you’re really, really bored. And if you don’t mind not having good characters, plot, or even action.

 

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About Valence

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30 Responses to Cardfight!! Vanguard is the best cosplay-based show ever

  1. Pingback: Things You Need To Know In Order To Find The Best Web Hosting | a great job on the internet

  2. Azure Hoshizora says:

    So Valence is really really bored? Cuz you’re watching this…

    Mandatory for all card based series to have a male lead whose hair defies gravity.
    I actually enjoyed playing Duel Masters (well used to), Yu gi oh didn’t really make sense to me.

    And lol, planet GHEY?

    • Valence says:

      Just watching it for the lols, Azure, just watching it for the lols.

      Same reason for Rio.

      Yu-Gi-Oh and DM were fun to play years ago, but the shows …are just bad. No denying that.

      • hikikomori1969 says:

        I used to play Yugioh a lot when I was and I always raged at the tv show for being completely different and constantly spouting shit about friendship. Though that the 4kids dub, so I wouldn’t be able to say much about the Japanese version. I might watch the first episode of this and not pay attention just start doing other crap while watching… Nah my bandwidth is not worth this crap.

        • Valence says:

          A theme of the show was ‘friendship’ I suppose, but the dub makes it kind of annoying. I think the Jap version should be annoying too.

          But I’d never bother rewatching YGO again though.

      • Azure Hoshizora says:

        The number of ridiculous shows increase once again… Yu gi oh anime was pretty shitty. I actually found duel masters silly in an entertaining way.

        but… it may just be my biased-ness: The ennglish dub the TV uses was really bad…

  3. Lenneth says:

    I am so glad I did not bother watching it…thanks for posting this

  4. baka~ says:

    I don’t feel this anime to be fun since it doesn’t have CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!! 😡

  5. I had no intention of ever watching this series and you’ve just strengthened my resolve. The only card game series I will ever go for is YGO, and I haven’t watched that in a very long time. Unless YGO Abridged counts, since I still watch that constantly.

    • Valence says:

      YGO Abridged …one doesn’t have to even watch YGO to think it’s funny, so I doubt it counts.

      But I’d only watch Yu-Gi-Oh , since I actually know how to play it. . .

  6. Justin says:

    Just watch. Somehow, someway, kids will actually like Vanguard.

    We in America do not approve.

  7. utilsabound says:

    Weib Schwarz and Vanguard are both printed by Bushi Road, you know.

  8. omo says:

    it’s probably a poor idea to judge a card game based on the anime commercial for it.

    supposedly Quarkboy found it interesting, so it might be worth looking into. But it does look like what you said to an extent: a love child of several other previous games.

    • Valence says:

      I did go and try to find stuff on this card game, but not much came up. So I went to indeed, try and judge the card game based on that commercial – if a commercial can’t convince me to watch or even buy the card game, has it failed in its purpose?

      I’m still watching it of course, but in due course I’ll see whether I can confirm that this game is indeed,nothing more than a love-child..

  9. ~xxx says:

    Just watch Yu-gi-oh and have fun…

  10. Eien says:

    I don’t see why people bother to watch shows that they have an obvious bias for. If you don’t like card game animes then why are you watching them? I, personally, enjoy card game animes a lot cause I like card games. Most people I see that claim to review this show have no idea how you have to air a show like this. I literally saw a review for it complaining that they spent too much time explaining the game. Seriously? How are we going to know whats going on if they didn’t? That would be like watching football or baseball and not know how the game is played.

    Most card game shows have to start off slow cause there is a lot of things that need to be explained but down the line the stories get good. These shows can have deep story lines even though it’s based around a game. Yugioh 5Ds is a great example of this. It has very deep or dark story lines despite it being a card game on motorcycles.

    Basically in short, if this ain’t your cup of tea, why you drinking it? Lastly, the reason you haven’t found much on the game is cause it’s being released after the show airs. So it’s still brand new if it’s even out yet.

    • Valence says:

      “Basically in short, if this ain’t your cup of tea, why you drinking it?”

      While I won’t write a lengthy response on why this line of reasoning isn’t apt for reviewing anime, I must profess that – as much as I would like to deny it – I actually liked YGO and various other card games. Sure, the show was bad, but I enjoyed it.

      Problem is, although I know it starts out slowly, what I was most unhappy about was how the game seemed to be a mixup of other pre-existing TCG games. And some parts were really unnecessary , in my opinion, but to each his own.

  11. Yi says:

    Yea, this does look incredibly boring… Never was that interested in card game anime.

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