Valence’s Anime Awards 2010 : A Side – Bad prizes

This is no time for joy or laughter. This is where we get down and dirty. To find which are the worst possible moments of anime in 2010 and give them what they deserve. To dissect every horrid scene and find out which is the worst of the worst.  Wading through the bog of failed anime trying to find the worst of the lot.

Let’s get started.

(WARNING: Rage post within.)

HAITI PLOT AWARD: Given to the most unstable plot of anime 2010. For exceptional amounts of confusion, misery and all-out FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU- rage, with moments spent in despair trying to figure the goddamn thing out.

WINNER: Dance in the Vampire Bund

Seriously, if you managed to keep up with the show, you deserve a pat on the back. In fact, a lot of pats on the back,since you’d probably be aching from the pain. Dance in the Vampire Bund had probably the most unstable plot since the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake. (Rimshot.)

The first episode starts with a talk show, which then leads to our protagonist , Akira, meeting Mina Tepes, who wants to start a kingdom for Vampires like her, by paying off the gross national debt of Japan. Soon, people start trying to assassinate her, and it turns out Akira is a werewolf who has supposedly spent ages with Mina. Then the plot starts to derail itself from there. Nothing was answered. Nothing was resolved. Fans even tell me that the manga was better – a sure-fire way to tell that even the fans of Dance in the Vampire Bund have no idea how to defend this show from flaming. God bless anyone who plans on watching this, for I hope your back won’t hurt as much as mine from all the misery.

What I almost wanted to use after watching the ending. /wrists

BURNSIDE DEFEAT AWARD: For the show that had so much potential but ended up with a horribly disappointing ending that we’re expected to like. For the show whose ending fucked up as badly as General Burnside did.

 

WINNER: My little sister can’t be this cute!

Honestly, what the fuck was that ending? I know I like the show and all, but the ending was probably the most shittiest that happened this year. We have half of the episode about Kyousuke going to Akiba , queuing up for some game about little sisters and meeting his friend who turns out to be as big a loser loving big brother as he is, and they start talking about their sisters and whatnot. Then out of nowhere Kirino drops the bombshell that she needs to go to America. Cue fight scenes. The manlier and the stronger one won. So Kyousuke gets bloodied all over (no joke.) and thanks to the laptop reaching one scene in that siscon game, Kirino decides to stay.

Alas, nothing was resolved either. That was not even satisfactory in the least. It was 4 minutes of drama that appeared out of nowhere. It even seems like a thinly-veiled attempt to sell off those extra episodes – the ‘True End’, which I guess will be equally as crappy. We put up with 11 episodes of bitchery and leave the show feeling as empty as when we started. So everyone is the same, Kirino’s still a bitch the same person, Kyousuke’s still a wimp the same, and there were even hints of Season 2 being in the works.

Hell no. Season 2 will break all chances of there being a Kuroneko end.

Least Explainable Character Award : Self-explanatory. For the character whose existence leaves much to be wondered.

WINRAR: Nozomi Kiriya ( Mayoi Neko Overrun)

So let me get this straight : she’s essentially someone who you decided to pick off the street and make her stay with you instead of finding out other pieces of information, oh, for instance, where the hell she comes from and whatnot. At least for other characters we sort of have some information. Heck, even Ika Musume seems more …explainable than she does.

What’s even less explainable is that her cat ears actually fucking move. What the fuck? Is she some crossbreed of a cat and human or something?

she’s a cat-girl, Valenc-

FUCK OFF! How in bloody hell does a cat-girl make any sense for a show about the lives of people working at a confectionery? The best part is , she has a pair of human ears too. 4 ears! Wow! It’s like god-damned evolution or something. With cat ears, she appeals to a wider demographic –  but her existence still makes not much sense… does she hail from some mythical kingdom ruled by cats or something? Is she here because some cat-lover made a deal with the Cat God for his very own catgirl or something? Who knows?

It makes sense that Taketatsu Ayana is her voice actress though.

Most Ridiculous Plot Twist Award: Also self-explanatory. For the plot twist that makes the viewer want to punch his/her own lights out in confusion.

WINNER: Stocking is a demon ( Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt)

Do you really need me to explain why the plot twist was ridiculous? It was something after the antagonist died, and had absolutely no buildup whatsoever. It was completely random. It made no sense at all, really, no matter what you say. Sure, the show was nice, but the plot twist was nonsense.

The saddest thing is that given the show’s reputation for being masters of trolling and crude humour, I’m starting to suspect that the plot twist was simply for the lols and that there would not be any second season at all. Perhaps it’s just another ploy for the pitiable viewer to buy more extra episodes, DVDs and BDs. Or even it’s just buildup for the biggest troll in 2010. I still naively hope for a season 2.

Physics Failure award: Given to the scene which abused the most physics of all ,whether breast-related or otherwise. For exceptional levels of creativity when breaking the laws of physics, whether breast-related or otherwise.

Winner: Highschool of the Dead

Using someone’s breasts to cushion a rifle impact…rippling breasts dodging in Matrix style….excessive bouncing, Highschool of the Dead has it ALL. It’s like they went all the way to make sure that all their characters were completely applicable to be rape material. Besides, they spent a good amount of time half-naked anyway. Some characters are even there to bait the extreme maniacs, I suspect.  Especially that damn school nurse Shizuka. Hell, the only thing she can do is drive the car and show that her breasts can bounce up and down repeatedly as fanservice.

Still, given the power of a rifle recoil I think Rei’s breasts won’t live to tell the tale eventually.

Crew-on-drugs Award: For the show that had a concept so bad it must have been done when on drugs.

WINNER: Seikon no Qwaser (a ka Breast-sucking Elemental Fighters!)

Honestly, I can’t find words to explain why this show exists. I haven’t completed it, so all I remember of the show are breasts, riding someone like a dog , breasts, fanservice, breasts , breast-milk , moaning, and surprise- breasts. That’s how much I remember. Heck, it was so badly panned that I don’t remember any of the people inside. The whole drink-breastmilk-for-power thingamajig never really appealed to me.

Biggest Wannabe award: Given to the show which seems uncannily similar in format and style to another better show.

WINNER: Mitsudomoe (Wannabe Kodomo no Jikan)

Honestly, there’s just too much that seems similar between these two shows. We have 3 girls, one obsessed with sex and genitals, and the other two occasionally showing interest as well. Add a useless teacher and a whole shitload of dirty jokes, and you’d get one of the above two shows. Problem is, while Kodomo no Jikan was actually entertaining at some point, Mitsudomoe just bored me. It was too full of shit for me to swallow.

All-women-are-sluts Award: Given to the absolute worst depictions of females in anime,mostly from harem series. For driving home the ‘point’ that all women flock to the nearest thing with a penis and then proceed to try and fuck it. Also for proving the point that women like people with absolutely no likeable personality either.

WINNER: Draw between Omamori Himari and Ladies vs. Butlers

If it was anything I learnt from this show, or anything the show tried to insinuate, is that all females flock to the nearest male upon the slightest bit of provocation. Seriously, that’s how most harem shows run, true, but these two shows really take the cake. Omamori Himari has the defeated enemies joining Yuuto’s ever-growing harem, and trying to rape/ have sex with Yuuto every darn episode. Ladies vs. Butlers practically has females stripping and in various forms of undress every episode. It even includes uncensored scenes of its leads in various ..sexual poses, most notably in the extra episodes.

Honestly, one issue I have with ecchi is that some of it makes all women ecchified too much. True, women are not angels who are completely pure from sin. But when you turn every damn character into a walking tower of sex and giggles, that’s where it crosses the line.  And it’s not like I dislike ecchi either, so you can roughly tell how much I disliked the above two shows.

Shittiest Show Award – Winner: Unko-san Junjou-ha

Ba-dum-tsssh.

Least-reason-for-existence Award: / Golden Turd award: Given to the show that,well, simply had the least reason to exist since it sucks so badly. For exceptional levels of crappy story/character development, fail art sequences, forgettable music and general stupidity overall.

WINNER: Ookami Kakushi

Common responses to anyone who hates this series:

…the VN was good…

…the show had work to do….

don’t flame it..play the game instead…

One thing I extremely dislike about these kinds of arguments is that they keep telling me not to flame the show simply because the original source was better. Problem is, I watch the show with absolutely no knowledge of the original source, so needless to say, I expect a good adaptation. I don’t care if the visual novel was brilliant. I want to see a good show.

Which is exactly what Ookami Kakushi fails to deliver. Actually, it fails at many other things too. The plot development was ridiculous. Our protagonist, Hiroshi, keeps running into encounters with the wolves, who are all hunted down by the hunter Kannon, later revealed to be their class rep. , Nemuru. And that’s pretty much about it. The rest is all slice-of-life. It’s the same shit for the entire first half of the episode. It’s dull, it’s hardly even entertaining. Heck, it’s not entertaining at all. It was boring.

Then they decide to speed up the pace a bit, by revealing information about the Jouga wolves for the second half. By the time they reach episode 11, the show looks beyond redemption. But of course, there’s still another episode….

…of complete moe fanservice. Which fucking sucks given how the show already sucks too much for me to enjoy any such episode. They even gave Nemuru, the cold-blooded, merciless hunter,a bunny suit. They made her completely moe, probably to appeal to the masses. It’s just like Mikoto in To Aru Majutsu no Index II. Moe always wins. True, I like moe. But not when it impedes the plot development and ruins the show for me.

And the characters – woo boy, let’s get started. Hiroshi’s this male protagonist who seems to suffer from a serious case of Lackofapenisagnitis. His sister, Mana (stupid name btw) is forever bound to a wheelchair, probably because she likes it( we don’t get a explanation why she even needs a wheelchair). Isuzu is as annoying as fuck, and so is her brother. And of course, our typical cliche villain who wants to destroy the village but fucks up at the end. All in good time I see, AIC.

But of course, AIC likes to give its most uninteresting characters special abilities. Hiroshi’s unlikeable personality serves as a magnet for freaks who crave the taste of his penis (or lack thereof, whatever’s in that spot). Mana can probably cast spells or something. Can she? I don’t know. I was too busy sleeping when watching the show. I think the only saving grace is the art for Kannon’s costume, and only occasionally does it look good – and that’s actually saying something.

Come back tomorrow where I give out awards to better shows this year.

Further reading

Anime Awards 2010: Introduction

 

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32 Responses to Valence’s Anime Awards 2010 : A Side – Bad prizes

  1. Ming Xuan says:

    The boobs in HSoTD was faster that a speeding bullet!

  2. Mizorui says:

    The majority of PSG fans are banging their heads to the wall. Gainax “ruined” their Christmas lol. I doubt that there will be a second season since they have a reputation for troll endings. I halted my viewing of Mayoi Neko a long time ago, stuck at episode 5. Oreimo’s ending is what exactly you have said and HOTD, fanservice to the max.

    • Valence says:

      GAINAX seems as though their main intention was to troll us anyway, so I’m prepared.

      This year’s been full of crappy endings. TWGOK, OreImo, PSG, you name it, we’ve got it.

      • hikikomori1969 says:

        TWGOK wasn’t a crappy ending because it never ended their is gonna be a second season. I really liked the PSG ending because it trolled so much and it matched the rest of the series. The episode it self didn’t make much sense anyway so an ending like this was pretty good.

        • Valence says:

          Problem is, on its own, TWGOK is a crappy ending. It doesn’t matter if there was going to be Season Two, but what matters is how season 1 ends itself.

          PSG Ending was okay, just that the twist was too random for me to take as the complete ending for PSG. It feels out-of-place, but knowing GAINAX…

  3. Sebz says:

    good lord, this.

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  5. I laughed at your blasting of HOTD though I’m afraid it’s become an iconic scene that none shall forget at this rate. Also, I always wondered what the hell was up with that random catgirl in Mayoi Neko and I guess no one has a cogent explanation either? Definitely agree with the criticism you leveled at Ore Imouto though. I liked it up to episode 8 whereupon it just kinda blew up.

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  7. glothelegend says:

    Fantastic awards! Perhaps I should have finished PSwG before reading this.

    Ore no Imouto was stupid.

    • Valence says:

      As much as I liked the show, I can’t help but agree that OreImo was ..well…stupid.

      Good to know I’ve gotten someone into watching PSwG though.

  8. baka~ says:

    The whole drink-breastmilk-for-power thingamajig never really appealed to me.

    compared to the manga which somehow explained the breast-sucking, the anime just made Qwaser a Queen’s Blade wannabe… only worse… God I wished they followed the manga faithfully X_X

    Oh and HotD was an exaggeration of the manga… an annoying one that is… but well, I guess that’s how some fanservice anime are meant to be… I despair X_X

    • Valence says:

      HOTD’s anime was nothing like the manga – the manga was less fanservicey if you ask me.

      And Seikon no Qwaser . . . I think I would have to finish it eventually, but I can’t find the motivation.

      • baka~ says:

        if you’re talking about SnQ the anime then I suggest you better read the manga instead as the manga is far more serious and intriguing than the blasphemous anime

  9. Baka-Raptor says:

    Why is the physics failure award on the bad list?

  10. Azure Hoshizora says:

    That particular physics failure brought http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Laws_of_Anime_Physics to the next level…

    2010 must be the year of silly shows… The Qwasers, Cat girls, vampires and little sisters speak.

    • Valence says:

      2010 was full of dismal shows. For a newbie like me, this might have turned me off anime, but I hope not…..

      God bless the Winter season.

  11. biotoxic says:

    Ah Qwaser, you just need to switch your brain off then it’s all good. I think give a fair summary of the plot though.

    Oreimo ending was that bad, like worse than Angel Beats bad? Looks like I won’t be rushing to watch this then.

    I seem to have missed the pleasure of watching Ookami Kakushi. I’d therefore have to give Least-reason-for-existence Award to Asobi ni Iku yo! – why the fuck did I watch that garbage.

    • Valence says:

      I can’t switch my brain off…

      OreImo’s ending was just as
      disappointing as AB’s.

      But at least Asobi ni Ikuyo was funny at times…

  12. Nopy says:

    I would say that Ore no Imouto didn’t get anywhere, at least now we know Kirino has the hots for her brother. As for that episode of Panty and Stocking, did you really think that they would leave viewers with something sensible?

    • Nopy says:

      oops, I meant “wouldn’t”, not “would”

      • Valence says:

        “Did you really think they would leave viewers with something sensible?”

        “Did you really think they wouldn’t leave viewers with something sensible?”

        Both work when you think about it…knowing GAINAX’s new reputation as an excellent animation studio and Lord Troll.

    • Valence says:

      Most of us should have seen the ending from the first episode for OreImo, but not for Panty and Stocking!

  13. Yi says:

    Breasts breasts breasts!!

    Agreed about Mayoi Neko, Seikon no Qwaser, and Vampire Bund. I liked the OreImo ending though.

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