Twelve Days of Anime: Day Eight- The answer to all of life’s problems, the universe, and everything in existence.

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If it’s anything I’ve learnt from anime this year, is that in times of doom and gloom, we cannot lose faith, because the answer to all of our problems is right in our very hands.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a maniac who almost slaughtered all your friends in a bid to become god-like. Nor does it matter if the person is of the fairer sex. The answer to any antagonist that appears is a good, ol’-fashioned,

punch to the face.

courtesy of RandomC.net

Seriously, it’s a one-size-fit-all solution to anything.  It doesn’t matter. As long as you clench your fist tightly and deliver a nose-bleed inducing punch straight to the face, all your problems will be solved. It doesn’t matter. Watch and behold as believers in this philosophy put it to use:

Following this philosophy has various benefits as well. Watch as tornado-riding Accelerator gives a punch so powerful it sends the problems far away, slamming into a building and yet not cave in her face. Following this philosophy will increase your levels of manliness by at least 200 levels, letting you overpower other men, who will grovel in despair and envy. If you’re a member of the fairer sex, this philosophy works great to scare off creeps and gain the adoration of your friends and family. There isn’t any drawback either, except save for a blood-stained fist.

However, not everyone can apply this school of thought to their daily lives. Your one fist must be powerful enough to send the problem at least 3 metres away from you, flying through the air and sprawl onto the pavement, nose bleeding profusely or face bruised. Also, you must have no mercy, which makes this school of thought serve as a downer to conservative folks.

But alas, thanks to all of these requirements, the unenlightened masses treat this school of thought as a crime, which can result in a jail sentence. Quick! Spread the word to all of your friends. We can teach them that this philosophy is not a crime. Punch every problem you face in the face. Together,we can make a better world.

Examples of when and how to use this philosophy include:

  1. Blue Screen of Death appears. Punch the monitor/CPU repeatedly until computer works.
  2. Car too slow? Punch steering wheel / engine/ various parts until it works.
  3. Someone is beating your friend up/ blocking your way/ breathing your air. Punch with favourite hand (up to own choice) until target is bleeding/fleeing/unconscious/dead.

Before I leave, here is a good example of a follower of this school of thought:

Further Reading

<– Click here to read Day 7: Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt

Click here to read Day 9: My little sister can’t be this cute! –>

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About Valence

I blog things.
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15 Responses to Twelve Days of Anime: Day Eight- The answer to all of life’s problems, the universe, and everything in existence.

  1. Ming Xuan says:

    Logic? In the world filled of espers each with their own personal realities and rival magicians who apparently are all females, followed by an Imagine Breaker? I guess not.

    • Valence says:

      Oh come on, it’s logic. I’m sure if I punched my enemies hard enough and often enough they’d resort to getting external help or simply leave me alone. It makes perfect sense.

  2. Alx2oy says:

    “Your one fist must be powerful enough to send the problem at least 3 metres away from you, flying through the air and sprawl onto the pavement, nose bleeding profusely or face bruised.”

    How about adding in getting your shirt ripped apart, broken teeth and broken bones? XD

    • Valence says:

      Those are optional. The bare minimum should be the ability to blow the opponent away. Other optional requirements include the ability to blow your opponents to bits a la Hotuko no Ken.

  3. ariannasterling says:

    Oh, if only my fist was strong enough for such things. Alas, I am a weak person filled only with weakness.

    And does anyone else think it’s amusing that Izaya was punched into a sign that spells ‘love’?

  4. Azure Hoshizora says:

    My knuckles just shattered…

    Violence doesn’t solve anything. Punching on the other hand (or fist) solves everything~

  5. ~xxx says:

    ouch…

    my hand would be covered in bandages sooner or later.

  6. Pingback: Twelve Days of Anime: Day Nine – My little sister can’t be this cute | Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity?

  7. Pingback: Twelve Days of Anime: Day 7 – The story of a gay priest, two fallen angels and a whole lot of bastardisation | Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity?

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  9. Yi says:

    Haha, I’ll remember this when the time comes.

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