Sadomasochism 03 – Hanamaru Youchien

Part of the Sadomasochism Series.

To have a comedy show,made by GAINAX of all people, must have seemed like a fail from the beginning. The anatomy of these characters seemed to confirm this,with their height being only knee-high for optimal panty-peeking and their bloomers , or diapers, or whatever other clothing they might be wearing the size of their heads, which just so happen to be on a 1 : 1 ratio with their bodies.

Hanamaru Youchien is the charming tale about 3 children attending Kindergarten, Anzu, Hiiragi and Koume. Their last names are never known, because it makes them all the more mysterious. Anzu is Yamada as a child,Hiiragi an evil scientist and Koume your typical moe-by-helplessness Tsukasa-like girl. Together they try to help Anzu get attraction from their caretaker Tsuchida, who is much more interested in fucking Yamamoto from next door instead of our underage Anzu.

Hanamaru Youchien is a prime example of disregarding any sense of social identity so as to appeal to those deviants in society, especially those interested in fucking little children, those darn pedophiles child-lovers. Some proponents of Hanamaru Youchien call it highly nostalgic to watch as it reminded them of their own childhood, or realistic, or a cutesy intepretation of our own childhoods. I think I did have some friends in Kindergarten ( I was still the tallest, I recall), but I don’t remember any students being introducing in having sex with the teacher from the age of 6, save for that guy who drew his genitalia on a piece of paper and handed it to the rest of the class. I’m not making that up.

Anzu basically falls in love with Tsuchida after Tsuchida talks to her, yeah yeah childhood love and whatnot. SO she tries to win over Yamamoto’s big breasts wonderful character but goes on to support their relationship in the end, for reasons we can’t understand. For god’s sake, GAINAX, if you’re going to make a half-baked story about someone falling in love with somebody else about 5-7 times her age at least make it to the end.

Don’t worry, non-pedophiles , there’s plenty of boobage to go around for everybody!

Hanamaru Youchien is the feel-bad show of the season. You’ll feel bad watching it, for you’d be labelled as some kind of social deviant simply because you watch it. Some might say it’s not as FUCKING AWESOME screwed up as Kodomo no Jikan, but that saves nothing to defend Hanamaru Youchien for being yet another thinly-veiled excuse for GAINAX to make a fail-worthy show to pass the time.


Anzu’s  a slut.  Perhaps we can’t blame it on her, since her parents strip and doorstep and immediately start fucking each other every damn day. It’s a wonder why she has no other siblings,really, but I digress. Have you ever seen such an extreme character? Why do kindergarteners like talking about sex and love?But then again, everyone in her fucking class does, so I suppose it doesn’t matter, huh.

Hiiragi’s a cosplay freak. Every episode she cosplays as something just to make pedos happy. Koume’s just Kou-meh.

All in all, the show is actually pretty dumb. Sigh.

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