Loli Haruhi Figma announced ; Police expect to catch pedophiles faster

As of late, yet another Haruhi figma, of The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi fame, has been announced, much to the dismay delight of anime watchers everywhere.

But of course, nothing is that simple. Even though she’s not only coming in September 2010, even coming with plenty of accessories including this bench ( which I feel is enough alone to warrant the purchase), there is a reason why it’s priced regularly at the price of 2800 yen.

It is, in fact, an elaborate scheme by the United Nations and Max Factory. In exchange for funding the figma to be sold at a subsidized price, the loli figmas come with GPS detectors and hidden cameras in her irises.

Since buying the figma both declares that you are either a lolicon or some hardcore anime fan, the Figma tracks your every movement. Every site you go to, caught by its cameras and sent to HQ. Every movement under the table, detected and analysed by its motion detector. When you leave the house, it’ll come to life and search your computer for child porn.

Buying her alone will trap you under supervision forever. The IP you use will be logged, your data accessed from afar. Your bank account will eventually be frozen , or warning letters will be sent to your house.

———

But nevertheless, you should buy her.

Copyright 2007, 2008, 2009 Nagaru Tanigawa – Noizi Ito / SOS Dan
Height: approx 125mm.

Haruhi Suzumiya – back when she was a first year student!
From “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” comes a figma of Haruhi when Kyon met her three years in the past!

Using the smooth yet poseable joints of figma, you can act out various scenes.

A flexible plastic is used for areas such as the torso and between the legs, allowing proportions to be kept, without compromising posability.

The paint cart for drawing white lines that was seen in the episode “Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody” is included for “John Smith” to use.

The bench that featured multiple times in the series is included. Let your favourite figma take a seat!

An irritated face perfect for the young Haruhi, as well as a sceptical face are both included as expressions.

A poseable figma stand is included, which allows various poses to be taken.

Manufacturer : Max Factory
Scale : Non
Material : PVCABS
Producer : Maki Asai
Series : figma
Original : The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Release Date : Sep
Regular Price : 2,667 yen  about 29.9 USD
Sales Price : 2,266 yen(15%OFF) about 25.41 USD

BUY ME ALREADY

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3 Responses to Loli Haruhi Figma announced ; Police expect to catch pedophiles faster

  1. Lenneth says:

    And with this the population of the lolicons and pedophiles is being endangered by the UN and they shall protest against it by causing riots with a lot of loli figures tied onto their heads as they shout ” Viva Lolis!”…crashing stores tat do not sell anything related to lolis!

  2. K says:

    LOCK ME UP! I’M GUILTY! GUILTY I SAY!!!

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