Exco 2010-2011 Official Release : The outcome was the same ; yet I don’t feel the same sadness.

So the official results are out. The same outcome, for me anyway. Nothing.

Perhaps I am really useless. But it’s probably my own fault ; my own disease- a disease of the mind. A disease which lets me see and find new passion in something ; it’s always too late though. It’s my fault. When the chance of enrolling in HP came around the corner , I found myself wanting to get in – but it was too late- my standards horrible, and even if I did get in, would I survive? Would I be sane?

Or perhaps it’s all meant by God. As the story goes : An old man’s son’s horse went missing. When the horse came back, it brought others , and the son loved riding the horses, galloping across the wide, empty plains. The people praised his good fortune, but the old man asked them: “What makes you so sure this is a blessing?”

One day the son fell off, broke his leg and became a cripple. While others lamented at the son being crippled at such a young age, the old man asked them :” What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” When bandits attacked the city, all the fit and able young men had to go to war- except for the old man’s son, who, of course, was crippled. As a result they both could survive the war.

My mother always told me :” If you’ve tried your best, no matter what happens, it’s worth it.” And that’s the mindset I’m adopting. Do I sound like a loser? I don’t think so – a loser would complain, or rage against the choice made. I’m fine with it ; the mindset I had been taking this whole time was that the best should get selected, and that if I was not any good, then I should not be. So perhaps I had been prepared for this moment.

And it’s kind of win-win either way. If I did not get selected, I would have time to focus on my studies- something I can’t afford to forsake right now. So indeed, when the official results came out today, I felt less emo than when the results came out yesterday.

So, erm, congrats to all those who are appointment holders. Don’t let us down 😀

As for me, I’m going to do a little soul searching. After all, we still have two days left to school reopens.

I never really feel quite right
I don’t know why, all I know is there’s something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive

Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I’m following every footstep

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that’s burning out

I say a lot of things sometimes that don’t come out right
And I act like I don’t know why
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for

You looked through me, you really knew me like no one has EVER looked before

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that’s burning out

I know, I know, girl you got something

SHINE (shine it on to me)
Shine down on me (I wanna feel it)
Shine on this life that’s burning out

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me (just show me something)
Shine on this life that’s burning out (you give me something that I never
Know)

Shine (it gonna kill me if you give something away)
Shine yeaaah (I wanna know what’s going in on your mind)
Shine on this life that’s burning out

A perfect picture of unusual peace and serenity ;

Advertisements

About Valence

I blog things.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.